It’s not me, it’s my characters!

14 Sunday Feb 2021

Posted by Jessica Wood in Blog, musings, romance, sale, self publishing, story, writing

Tags

books sale, ebook sale, romance, writing

You’ve probably heard a lot of authors say that the characters take charge of the plot and hijack the story. Some even claim that they don’t intend for their characters to fall in love but they do it on their own.

It happens to me far too often. I don’t intend yet another romantic subplot on top of all the others I have already. But the characters go and fall in love anyway, then the romance becomes a major part of the story. With the Undersea series, I always intended for romance to be a major part of the story and to have a diverse range of relationships (straight, gay, interracial, mermaids, and so forth). But two secondary characters called Rico and Shiro seemed to fall in love entirely on their own. The more I wrote them, the more I realised they would need their own subplot in the second and third novels. It’s ended up becoming one of my favourite parts of the story to write and a major part of the plot. I’ve even come up with new spin-off books for these couples.

Most likely it’s just my subconscious realising that those characters are a good fit for one another, have good chemistry, or the subplot would benefit the story. But sometimes it does feel as if the characters really have become the masters of their own narrative.

Sale for UK readers

In keeping with the Valentine’s theme, Traitor’s Revenge will be on sale for only 99p during Valentine’s weekend in the Amazon UK store. My last sale was only applicable for the US store, so I didn’t want any UK readers to miss out.

For more deals and ‘behind the scenes’ writing notes, join the Undersea newsletter.

Top Seven Worst Types of Love Interest

28 Thursday Jan 2016

Posted by Jessica Wood in Blog, Common Criticism, musings, romance, story, tv, writing, writing advice

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

bad writing, creative writing, love interest, muse, romance, romance cliches, romance fiction, story, writers, writing

A while ago I talked about the types of love story that turn my stomach. Today I’m going to talk about the types of love interest which make me throw a book into a fireplace, or throw the remote at the television. I’m not going to go on about Mary Sues or Manic Pixie Dream Girls because other people have already given hilarious parodies of those. These are the ones which I personally can’t stand.

The Plank of Wood.

A Plank of Wood appropriately named Rod.

This is when the love interest is so underdeveloped they could be replaced by a plank of wood and it wouldn’t make much difference to the story or romance arc. This can happen generally with poorly written characters but its even worse if that character is supposed to be a love interest. How are we supposed to buy that this person can be loved if they have virtually no personality or redeeming features?

The Karma Love Interest

Something which frequently appears in sitcoms with a ‘beauty and the geek’ romance. This is where the love interest, usually a female, is an embodiment of all the popular girls who refused to date the geeky guy in high school, making up for what horrible bitches all the girls were to him. Or perhaps it’s a girl who wouldn’t give him the time of day in high school but is now hopelessly in love with him, despite the fact that he hasn’t changed at all. I’m not the only one who felt that Ross and Rachael would just break up again a few years after the grand finale. I don’t even get why they would be interested in the type of girl who made their adolescence a living hell anyway.

It’s unfortunate because it almost implies that guys, no matter how horrible their personalities are, don’t have to try and change themselves but simply wait for girls to come around, stop being bitches, and fall in love with them. Yet if the genders are reversed, the girl will have to drastically change both inside and out to get the guy. Wow, I just made a horrifying revelation…

The Muse

No amount of catchy pop tunes can save this romance.

Closely linked to the manic pixie dream girl who often has a bit of the muse within her. This is where Person A falls for Person B not so much for who they are but for how they inspire them to create their artworks. Again, it is unfortunate as it is clear there is little basis for the couple to form a relationship and once the artist has finished his project, he can just dump her and find a new muse.

Just as bad is when an artist falls in love with a literal muse, which has been overused to the point of tedium. In fact, while writing this post I got the idea for a short story about a human falling in love with a muse for who they are, not for their artistic inspiration.

The Replacement

‘I know I had a crush on The Doctor last week but this is totally fine.’

Often a form of lazy writing when a writer can’t think of what else to do with a character so they just shove in a new love interest for the sake of drama. The object of a character’s affections has just died or decided they’re not interested. What to do, show them getting on with their life? Think of an interesting new story for them? Nah, let’s shoe-horn in another love interest right away.

The Dumbass in Distress

We all know where this is going…

Another old trope which is still discussed a lot, Person A falls for Person B because he saves her, often repeatedly. But if it’s such an outdated story, why does it still keep appearing? Is it because we still see the person being rescued as the reward and believe they should fall in love with the rescuer as thanks? The whole concept of falling for someone because they saved your life makes no sense anyway. Sure they’re probably a good person if they saved someone, but they probably just did that because they saw that person in danger and natural instincts kicked in. It’s really not much to base an entire relationship upon.

The One That Got Away

Don’t do what Gatsby does…

This is when a would-be-couple is separated for many years then they re-enter each other’s lives again. Either Person A will suddenly fall in love with Person B again despite barely thinking about them for years or will still love them throughout the years not for who they are but for who they were years ago. People change a lot as time goes by so the person they are pining for has probably become a different person than the one they originally fell for. I think it can work if the characters get to know each other all over again and find that they still have things they like about each other, but I don’t think things that happened ten years ago should be the basis for an entire relationship.

The Love Interest…And Not Much Else

I actually love Ygritte but god damn it…

Sure writers often have to insert characters to serve the role of love interest, but there are too many characters who exist only to be a love interest and have no purpose to exist beyond that. They might not even like or even interact with any other characters in the story because they only have eyes for the protagonist. It is much better for this character to make an impact not only in the romance part of the story but some other aspect of it as well, which doesn’t mean being kidnapped by the villain and used as the reward. Not only will the readers like them much more but they will be a better-rounded and developed character.

Are there any other types of love interest which turn you off? What love interests do you want to see more of instead? List them in the comments below!

Top 13 non-cliched romantic moments

25 Tuesday Aug 2015

Posted by Jessica Wood in Common Criticism, film, musings, romance, story, writing, writing advice

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

relationship, romance, romance cliches, romance fiction, romantic moments, writing, writing advice, writing cliche, writing relationships, writing romance, writing tips

My fiance and I showing great trust in each other.

My fiancee and I showing great trust in each other.

It can be difficult writing romantic moments to show a couple’s developing relationship as many of these moments have become so clichéd and overdone that they have lost all of their impact. Not all of them are necessarily bad. It’s still sweet to read about your favourite fictional couple sheltering from the rain together or raising a baby bird like it’s their own child. But modern fiction still needs more original and more realistic moments to show that a couple are in love. Here are some to get you started:

Looking out for each other in dangerous situations. This doesn’t mean the guy saving the girl (yes, it is still usually that way around) all the time. The couple can trust each other’s fighting abilities but still glance at each other occasionally to check that the other is ok.

Use instead of: Girl falls for guy after he rescues her. When this happens in a story, it’s seen almost as a crime if the girl doesn’t fall madly in love with him as thanks for saving her.

Respecting each other’s privacy. While quality time together is important in a relationship, it’s equally important to know when the other needs personal time. Often, especially after an argument, it’s best to back off rather than make a situation worse.

Use instead of: Being forced into every situation together. Stuck in a broken lift? Forced to do a report together? It probably won’t turn hatred into love as years of romantic movies have told us. It’ll probably just make them hate each other even more.

Talking things out after an argument. It’s inevitable that even the most stable of couples will fight sometimes, even do awful things to each other without meaning to. The way they deal with their arguments and issues often says more about their relationship than anything else.

Use instead of: Make up sex. Seriously, does anyone actually do this? An emotional argument is probably the least sexy thing ever. Aren’t you just using sex to ignore your issues?

Making a partner’s favourite dinner after they’ve had a terrible day. Double points if the partner doesn’t actually say they’ve had a terrible day, they just know and want to cheer them up.

Use instead of: Cooking dinner together. My parents said that they would end up getting divorced if they ever tried cooking together. It’s not quite as romantic and cute as sit-coms will have you think.

Leading someone with a fear of heights down to safety. Good relationships are about looking after each other’s needs and making each other feel safe, calm, and secure. Not every romantic rescue needs to be about beating up an attacker, often it can be something as simple as this.

Use instead of: ‘I have a fear of heights that is instantly cured so that I can go on the ferris wheel with you.’ Sorry to tell you this but true love isn’t an insta-cure for all phobias. It’s not going to be very romantic if one person is secretly terrified.

Ordering food for a shy person. Similar to the above example, helping out someone with social anxiety instead of condemning them for it is the nicest thing you can do for them.

Use instead of: Forcing a shy person to ‘come out of their shell’. Forcing someone into a situation that they’re uncomfortable with is going to do them much more harm than good and drive them away from the person you’re trying to hook them up with. If they really must open up more then it must be done gradually with gentle encouragement.

Finding each other irresistibly cute.

Have you ever heard of cuteness aggression? It’s when you see a baby animal that is so unbearably cute that you quite literally want to hug it to death. I often feel this way towards my fiancé, which is a little disturbing if you think about it…

Use instead of: Finding each other irresistibly sexy. Couples do need to find something physically attractive about the other, but you don’t want to imply that sexual attraction is the only reason they like each other.

Giving each other good advice.

I’ve never really thought before how often my fiancé and I give each other advice about careers, family, or life in general, but it helps us both through a lot of tough situations.

Use instead of: Asking friends for ill-informed relationship advice. It will inevitably lead to misunderstandings that will almost doom the relationship but it will all be fixed at the last moment and the idiot friend will receive no repercussions for almost breaking up a loving couple.

Sharing each other’s food. My fiancé and I have this weird running gag that when we’re having chips, we always steal some from the other’s place, even if we’re both having chips.

Use instead of: The ‘s/he stole food from my plate’ relationship dilemma. Did the fact that you’re going on dates not tip you off that you’re in a relationship? And does it really matter if someone you’re dating takes food from your plate?

Watching silly movies together. Similar to cooking their favourite dinner when they’re feeling sad, doing things like watching light hearted fun films, particularly ones they can riff on together, can make each other feel better.

Use instead of: Watching sappy romance movies together (and the guy hating it). It’s not treated as ‘sitting through a film I hate for my partner’ so much as ‘my wife is forcing me to watch a film I hate’. I also despise the guy making a girl watch a scary film she can’t stand just so she can cling onto him when she’s scared cliché. It borders on emotional manipulation.

Talking like best friends. Doesn’t matter if it’s normal everyday banter or confiding secrets that they can’t tell anybody else. Preferably there should be moments of both.

Use instead of: Can’t form coherent sentences around a crush. How can characters form relationships if they can’t even communicate with each other coherently? It makes it hard to get to know anything about each other.

Towling each other off after a rain storm. It’s sweet, caring, and even a little sexy. How can you go wrong?

Use instead of: Kissing in the rain. Why is this such a big thing? Has anybody ever had a decent kiss while being drenched with rain? Potentially catching pneumonia doesn’t seem that romantic to me.

Driving a partner to the airport at 5am.

If this isn’t the ultimate act of true love then I don’t know what is.

Use instead of: Chasing someone through the airport. ‘Being with me will make you so much happier than moving on with your life and pursuing your dream career! Whoops, is that airport security behind me?’

What other supposedly romantic moments do you think have become clichéd? What do you think make better alternatives?

Why I Hate Love Triangles

17 Friday Apr 2015

Posted by Jessica Wood in anime, Blog, writing, writing advice

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

anime, character, character development, drama, plot, romance, story, storytelling, villain, writers, writing, writing advice

When I was at school and just getting started with writing, I devoured shojo manga and anime. This somehow got the idea into my head that love triangles and complex love charts were the key to drama and therefore great storytelling. As such, I made sure that all of my stories had love triangles in the hopes that they would become better.

It was only when I became a little better at writing that I looked at my plots and realised that the love triangles I had shoehorned in for the sake of drama were completely unnecessary. They did nothing but add unneeded subplots and worst of all made my characters seem unlikeable.

Now I avoid love triangles as much as possible, or at the very least the ‘which boy should I choose’ variety (and yes, it is almost always a girl who has to choose between two boys). I also started to avoid reading stories that rely solely on love triangles for their drama. I’m clearly not the only one who feels this way; just look at the backlash against Twilight and its ‘Team Edward’ and ‘Team Jacob’ camps. But then again, there are also books like The Hunger Games which subvert the trend and make a love triangle work. So is it really possible?

These are the reasons I’ve found why love triangles seldom work:

Creating unnecessary drama. As I mentioned above, many newbie writers, myself included, fall into the trap of thinking all love stories need love triangles to give them more drama. In fact, most of the time they merely create a pointless obstacle to the main couple getting together.
Telling us who the ‘right’ type of love interest is. How many times have you read a book and wished that the protagonist got together with someone else, instead of the partner they ultimately chose? Even if that person is obviously wrong for them and in the worst cases abusive, they are meant to be together because the writer said so. If the protagonist had a fling with the ‘wrong’ person then they are punished for it before realising the error of their ways.
There is always a backup boyfriend. The worst implication of love triangles is that if something happens to the chosen guy, it doesn’t matter that much because the girl has another guy who’s madly in love with her who she can run to. That person has to live with the knowledge that they were ultimately the second choice and only with the girl because they got lucky.
And a backup love interest for the losing partner. How many love triangle stories have been resolved with a forgotten minor character showing up at the last minute and making an instant connection with the losing partner? The writer wants everyone to have a happy ending but can’t consider that a character getting over someone and doing something else with their life is an option. One of the reasons that even hardcore fans turned away from Twilight (I promise this is the last time I’ll use that as an example) was when the losing partner Jacob imprinted on Bella and Edward’s newborn daughter. I suppose the implication was supposed to be that he could tell that she would grow up to be his soulmate, but it came across as incredibly creepy and probably the worst possible way to end his story.
The characters are turned into horrible people. The moment I stopped putting love triangles in my stories was when I realised that the characters I was trying to portray sympathetically were coming across as horrible because they were jealous of each other. It’s hard to like a character who will string along two different people and put them both through hell just because they can’t make up their mind who they want to be with. If done incorrectly, love triangles can make characters seem indecisive, cruel, malicious, and uncaring. There is also the trap that one of the love interests will be painted as a villain just to make the other look better by comparison. Think of Rose’s fiancé in Titanic for an example. It’s not particularly good writing when you need to show a character being mean to emphasise that the other character is nice.
It’s obvious that one partner is going to either fail or be the villain. It’s not so much drama if we know that only one love interest will be chosen. Nine times out of ten that person is obvious from the outset, making the whole idea of a love triangle seem pointless. Love triangles involving villains or the above example of one partner being nasty are also far too common. These stories make it clear that the protagonist will be pushed into the loving arms of the person they were obviously going to end with while the other will spend their nights crying and eating ice cream.
Everybody loves someone who doesn’t deserve it. Most of us are lucky to have just one person fall in love with us, so why does your protagonist get two or more? If your character is just such a nice person that many people would realistically be in love with them then fine. But chances are they aren’t, or your character isn’t as special as you think they are.

So is it possible to make love triangles work? It’s difficult but if your writing is good enough, then yes. The most important way I’ve found to do this is with good character development. Give both of your potential love interests clear goals, motivations and both positive and negative character traits to show genuine reasons why your protagonist would want to be with them. Develop your protagonist equally well so that the reader can believe why they are so beloved. If you are going to introduce a backup love interest for the losing party, develop that character as well and give them their own story arc. Unless you’re intentionally going for tragedy, leave every character in a good place by the end of the story with something they genuinely wanted and needed.

Writers, how do you make love triangles work in your stories? What do you think are the best and worst examples in fiction?

Manga review – Strawberry Panic volume 2.

27 Thursday Nov 2014

Posted by Jessica Wood in anime, art, manga review, musings, series review, shojo, story, writing

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anime, backstory, bad writing, bifauxnen, character, character development, japan, love story, manga, mary sue, plot, relationships, romance, story, strawberry panic, yuri

The other week I wrote a review of the first volume of the Strawberry Panic manga. In summary, the characters were vapid Mary Sues, the book didn’t realise it had a plot until half way through and Catholic nuns are surprisingly ok with schoolgirl lesbians. I also found the second and final volume in the local library so of course I want to review that too and find out just how many more ways this manga could be terrible.

The last book ended on a cliffhanger on who Amane’s partner in the Etoile competition was, and we finally see that it is….Some character that has never been seen or mentioned before. What was the point of the cliffhanger?

By the way, it’s worth noting that Kaname is the only dark skinned character in the series and her appearance was completely changed in the anime. It seems that even Japan is whitewashing its characters…

This scene also leaves me a little confused about what relation the Etoile candidates are supposed to have with each other. The position is supposed to be held by two girls, usually one older and one younger, who work together and share the Etoile’s duties. I watched the anime and assumed the position was supposed to be held by two girls with a strong, sister like bond between them, which is why Nagisa and Tamao entered together in the anime. Maybe it’s a mistranslation, but the dialogue in the manga suggests that the Etoile must be a pair of lovers. Not just any lovers, but those who have sworn to be together for all eternity.

It gets even more confusing when Amane says she doesn’t want to enter the contest with Kaname because they both sort of look like boys (although the miniskirts kind of give it away). That’s a problem…how exactly? I thought she was opposed to it because she has a crush on Hikari and Kaname is kind of a bitch. (In the anime she tried to rape Hikari several times.)

Flirting during class is fine but this is scandalous!

Meanwhile, Hikiari and Yaya are in the locker room and…you can guess where this is going, can’t you? Yaya ‘accidently’ unhooks Hikari’s bra then tells her she needs to wear sexy lingerie to impress Amane. Did I mention that these two are in middle school?

She also says ‘Is it the same one you wore at the library the other day?’ implying that they really did do it in that scene in the library! Wow, this manga actually referenced something that happened before! Too bad it doesn’t really contribute anything to the overall story arc.

Shizuma pushing decisions onto Nagisa has finally had some consequences as the other girls who are jealous of Nagisa and Shizuma’s new ‘relationship’ have forced clean up duty onto her and Tamao to punish her. And yet Nagisa is the one who apologises for it and says it’s her fault! Did she forget that Shizuma forced her into it without her consent? Did saying no ever occur to her? Worst of all, Shizuma only did all of this to show off Nagisa as her latest girlfriend! And Nagisa is such a ditz that she just says ‘that’s ok then!’ and starts angsting over a girl she spent maybe an hour of time with. This manga is not only stupid and poorly written, it’s starting to make me angry.

Next we learn that Shizuma previously entered the Etoile contest with her former lover who died of a terminal illness or something. I know that it’s getting repetitive for me to keep comparing the manga and the anime, but in the anime Shizuma’s backstory was hinted at several times before devoting an entire episode to revealed it in a dramatic and heart breaking way. In the manga it’s brought up with virtually no foreshadowing and rushed out as a pitiful explination for Shizuma’s actions, plus an excuse to show girls in swimsuits.

It doesn’t even contribute that much to the story since the very next scene is of Shizuma getting cosy with Nagisa (and I swear they were having a garden party in their pyjamas). Since she’s seemingly already gotten over her past and moved on with Nagisa, it doesn’t form any kind of road block to the two of them getting together.

Oh yeah, she’s in torment. You can just see how torn up she is.

The Etoile contest finally begins with a sort of opening ceremony in which the various candidates are forced to essentially vow to be in love for all eternity. No pressure girls, you’re only making a promise to be with the same person forever in front of your Catholic Gods. It’s not like your lover could break up with your or die or something. Oh wait…

Awkward…

And it is only after making this vow of eternal love that Nagisa actually asks someone about Shizuma. How is it that this manga took so long to start the story and still develops their relationship too rapidly? What do the two of them even know about each other?

Next we have the first round of the contest – A horse race where the ‘older sisters’ need to race their horses to a tower where the ‘little sisters’ are being held. The little sisters have to jump from the tower, be caught by the horse rider and race together to the finish line. I’m starting to wonder how much these girls parents are paying to send them to this school and how much they are actually told about their education because THIS CONTEST IS INCREDIBLY STUPID AND DANGEROUS!! This manga is so awful it’s making me type all in caps and overuse the exclamation mark!!

The whole thing is so reliant on split second timing and expert level horse riding skills that it would be very likely for one of the girls to crack her head open or be trampled by a horse. In fact, the tower is so overcrowded that Nagisa gets knocked out and almost falls to her death. She’s only lucky that Shizuma somehow caught her in time.

‘I wish I was doing a spelling test right now.’

This contest feels like something out of Ouran High School Host Club, put together just for the romantic visuals of girls being rescued from a tower and carried by their ‘princes’. In fact, I think even Ouran would consider this too over the top.

What does this have to do with being an Etoile? What does an Etoile even do anyway? The manga never explains what the Etoile’s duties are other than look pretty and have the rest of the student body swoon over her. In the anime it mostly involves growing flowers. Does the position often involve rescuing princesses from towers? Maybe the next round will be slaying a dragon while serving tea.

The horse race between Shizuma and Amane is probably the only exciting part of the whole manga, as idiotic as it is, but it’s over in about two pages and we don’t even get to see the end, just a cut to the prize giving scene to reveal that Amane won. But of course she would because she’s in the equestrian club and this round gave her a huge unfair advantage.

In the final scene, Nagisa and Shizuma confess their feelings for each other and kiss, ending with ‘Continued in volume 3!’ You’ll be waiting a long time for that because this manga was unsurprisingly cancelled after only two volumes.

This book was at least somewhat better than the first one. There are far fewer stupid moments, the scenes fit together most of the time and there’s an actual plot. The art is nice and the girls all look adorable, despite one panel where Nagisa looks stoned instead of aroused. But the plot that we do get is awful, the main romance is developed poorly and there are many parts that just made me angry. Nagisa has so little personality and Shizuma is so unsympathetic that it’s hard to feel any support for the two of them getting together.

If you want a cute yuri love story that actually develops characters, relationships and backstories then watch the anime or track down the light novels. You won’t be missing much by skipping this manga.

Manga review – Strawberry Panic volume 1.

14 Friday Nov 2014

Posted by Jessica Wood in adaptation, anime, manga review, musings, random, series review, shojo, story, writing

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

adaptation, anime, Aoi Nagisa, character development, dialogue, fanfiction, girl love, Hanazono Shizuma, light novel, manga, manga review, mary sue, review, romance, strawberry panic, sub plot, writing, yuri

It’s been a very long time since I’ve done a review on this blog, but after seeing this manga at the library in my new town, I knew I had to tear it to shreds. I’m just evil like that sometimes.

Strawberry Panic is a yuri series about the various romantic relationships of a group of students attending three affiliated catholic all girl’s schools. It started life as a series of short stories in Dengeki G’s Magazine with couples decided by reader polls. Their success was followed up by light novel, visual novel, and a manga adaptations and then an anime series. It seemingly wasn’t until the anime adaptation that the series developed any plot, character development or charm. (I haven’t read the light novels but they sound fairly good too.) This volume of the manga reads like a terrible fanfiction; just a bunch of gooey, pointless romantic scenes all squashed together with only the barest hint of a plot holding them all together. The characters are even described as typical Mary Sues with ‘ivory hair’ ‘porcelain skin’ and ‘goddess like beauty’.

The first volume starts the same as the anime with new student Aoi Nagisa getting lost on her first day at St Miator academy and becoming instantly enamoured when she runs into the beautiful and mysterious Hanazono Shizuma. She is the ‘Etoile’ who is basically like the royalty of the three schools. The story then quickly cuts to a week later when Nagisa has to accompany Shizuma on their assigned duty to collect holy water for the Easter celebration. The nuns must have been waiting for that holy water until Christmas because almost half of the book is the two of them wandering around to various places along the way and getting into random ‘romantic’ scenarios. They even have one in the middle of a crowded classroom, during class! Was the sister just sitting at the back playing Angry Birds while this was going on?

The catholic school setting of this series has always confused me. I think it might have been for the ‘forbidden love’ angle but considering that virtually every character in this series is a lesbian and the staff never seem too bothered with the various lesbian couples, possibly even encouraging them to get together, their relationships hardly seem forbidden. The sister in the manga even says ‘the student going with you today will have an “eventful” time, won’t she?’.

‘Now girls, no lesbian sex while class is in session. Save that for mass this evening.’

Yes, the sisters of this school are fully aware of all the lesbian sex that is happening all the time and don’t even care! Maybe this is set in a world where Catholicism is more lax on these things, but then why include the catholic school setting in the first place then?

All this stupidity distracted me from the story, what little there is. Nagisa and Shizuma seemingly forget all about their classes or the holy water and go to the library, where the students all meet up for ‘liaisons’. There’s a really weird scene between two supporting characters, Hikari and Yaya, who are there to spy on Hikari’s crush, a popular girl named Amane, who is so popular she is nicknamed ‘The Prince’. Yaya has a crush on Hikari and randomly starts touching her up. And then we go back to Nagisa and Shizuma and the scene is never mentioned again! This will happen a lot in this manga, in fact the whole thing is basically random seduction scenes that are dropped and never brought up for the rest of the story.

About half way through the manga suddenly remembers it has a plot and there’s a long tedious dialogue about the upcoming Etoile elections, but it’s still nothing more than a bunch of random scenes spliced together that go nowhere.

Meanwhile, Nagisa’s best friend and room mate Tamao has come to find Nagisa and Shizuma. I assume they spent so long fetching the holy water that everyone thought they had died. Tamao and Nagisa’s relationship is basically an expy of Sakura and Tomoyo from Cardcaptor Sakura, minus all likability. Tamao has a huge crush on Nagisa, who remains oblivious despite Tamao’s rather…disturbing attachment to her. While this was mostly played for laughs in the anime and you could still admire the close friendship between the two, in the manga it’s downright creepy. If you thought Tomoyo dressing up Sakura and video taping her was weird, then stay away from this manga.

Tamao stumbles upon Nagisa with Shizuma and assumes that they’ve already done it, and with the amount of time they’ve been away it’s understandable that she’d make that assumption. But Nagisa cheers her up with a cheesy ‘we’re such good friends yay!’ scene that still sounds like it came out of a poorly written love confession.

To halt Tamao’s advances towards Nagisa, Shizuma announces that she’s going to enter the Etoile competition with Nagisa and then just leaves, so Nagisa doesn’t really have any choice in the matter despite being the supposed main character.

While in the anime Nagisa was naïve and clumsy, she was also kind, cheerful and actually called Shizuma out on her actions. In the manga she feels like nothing more than a Barbie doll who cares more about how pretty her uniform is than anything else, with dialogue like ‘Hymns sound kinda cool!’. She just drifts from scene to scene and lets things happen to her rather than have any actual say in them. ‘Nagisa, you’re my lover now.’ ‘Nagisa, we’re entering the Etoile competition now.’ ‘Nagisa, we’re going to fight an army of orcs now.’

After all that, I’m not sure they even delivered the holy water…

The last chapter switches focus to Hikari and Amane, who were by far my favourite couple in the anime. Too bad their sweet, emotional story is a copy of Nagisa and Shizuma’s, except with more whining and George Lucas esque dialogue.

Bleurgh….

The Etoile entrants are announced and Amane isn’t happy with who she’s been paired with. The book ends on a sort of cliffhanger, teasing the identity of who Amane’s partner is, but since this hasn’t been foreshadowed at all I’m sure it’s not that exciting anyway.

I feel bad comparing this manga to a fanfic because there are tonnes of fanfics that are much better written than this manga. It’s just fluffy spank material with no substance to it at all and barely any effort put into the writing. I found the second and final volume in the library as well so I’ll be reviewing that next week. I just really want to know if they finally deliver the holy water…