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~ Author of Tales From Undersea

Wood the Writer

Tag Archives: dialogue

Top Six Signs of Bad Writing and How to Avoid Them

17 Thursday Sep 2015

Posted by Jessica Wood in Common Criticism, Editing, fantasy, indie, musings, self publishing, story, writing, writing advice

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

book editing, book editor, character, characters, creative writing, dialogue, editing, memoir, novel, novel writing, novel writing tips, plot, writing, writing advice, writing tips

I’ve been editing and reviewing books professionally for a few years now and I can now recognise within the first few pages whether a book is going to be good or not. This doesn’t always mean a book with spelling and grammar errors or unnecessarily long paragraphs. Those are all things that can be fixed during editing. But I do frequently review a book and know that not even the best editor could have made it good or successful. One of my Creative Writing tutors had a nice metaphor for this – You can polish a turd as much as you want but it won’t stop being a turd.

Take for example a book I edited last month for a successful businessman. The book was well structured, had a friendly and conversational tone, and the author clearly knew what he was talking about. I’ve even been using some of the business lessons in his book for my own business. But by the gods, could this man waffle on! Maybe that’s a common thing with business people. The other editors and I had to change almost every other sentence to make the book readable and I had to cut close to 4,000 words of unnecessary padding, sometimes whole paragraphs at a time. But I can still tell that despite the problems it had at the editing stage, the book will still sell well when it is published because of the most important part – the content. If a book has great content then all you need is some editing to polish it.

Sadly, many of the books I see are lacking that crucial element. It is sad when I can recognise the germ of a good idea that would’ve made a great book if it had been written correctly but the author either didn’t have the skills to pull it off or just didn’t care enough to try. Here are some of the most frequent red flags I see so that you can avoid them in your own books:

  1. Stories that go nowhere.

In the book I mentioned above, the author used many of his real life stories to back up his points, which were effective as they gave his book a more personal touch. The trouble with many inspirational memoirs I read is that the stories aren’t structured and any point they are trying to give is unclear. They go on, blend into each other, or just peter out completely.

Similarly, authors often just stop the story completely to go on a long off topic tangent about how they feel about something. These are often hard hitting portrayals of important real life issues, but they don’t belong in the book that the author is writing. If you want to make a point about these issues, then you have to do it in a way that doesn’t take the reader completely out of the story.

  1. Archetypical characters.

Christopher Vogler in his book The Writer’s Journey (a great writing book, by the way) listed the archetypical characters that make up almost every story; the hero, the herald, the wise old mentor, etc. But these are just the base that make up characters, they also need motivation, traits, backstory, and numerous other things to make up a whole person.

Unfortunately, many authors never go beyond the archetypical stage and just have their stories played out by characters who could be replaced by planks of wood. The women like to drink wine and bitch about their husbands. The men like to go down the pub and say sexist things about their wives. No variation in between, except for the nice, hunky guy who the woman is obviously supposed to have an affair with. Nobody wants to read a story if they aren’t invested in the characters and they won’t be invested unless the characters have something interesting and original about them.

  1. Standard plots.

Not only do bad authors use building block characters, they also use bog standard stories. It is true that all stories are essentially variations of the same basic plots; the quest, the love triangle, rags to riches, etc. But each author approaches these plots in a new way and tries to give it their own unique spin. For instance, the ‘overcoming the dark lord’ plot in Harry Potter is nothing new, but it works because of the engaging characters and unique setting. Lazy authors don’t bother with this and just stick to ‘good versus evil’ or ‘rescue the princess’ or one of the other stories you’ve heard a thousand times before.

  1. Magic power for every problem.

Another crucial detail missing from bad novels is peril. Even when we know that everything will work out fine in the end, we expect to be taken on a roller coaster ride of emotion until we get there and have our expectations questioned a few times along the way. Bad novelists overpower their main heroes and give them an automatic solution to every problem. A wizard always has the right spell or the warrior can defeat any foe. If the characters aren’t challenged even remotely then the novel is boring and there’s no point to reading it.

  1. Dialogue dumps.

This is how dialogue works in normal books:

“I just upgraded my Windows 98 computer to Windows 10.” Said Brad.

“But how?” Russ spluttered his chocolate milk. “Everyone knows that’s impossible.”

“I’m just that good.” Brad replied with a coy smile.

This is how dialogue works in a bad book:

I asked her ‘which boy are you going to pick? We have to solve this love triangle somehow’. She paced the floor and said ‘I don’t know. If only I could be with both of them at once. Is that weird?” And I said ‘No’ and then ‘But you have to pick soon because we have to save the world.’ That’s when the wolverines came.

Which one is easier to read?

  1. Mundane opening.

A novel’s opening is considered the most important part of the entire book and thus the part which the author should focus on the most, and there’s a good reason. Aside from the blurb, it is the first piece of the book that anyone will see, be it a reader or a publisher. A weak opening will make them put your book down and pick up the next one.

It is best not to open your book with something completely mundane – a character waking up and going about their morning routine, the drive home from work, or a lengthy description of the weather while the main character moans that ‘life just isn’t fair!’. These may seem like ideal ways to describe your character’s life, but readers don’t really care about what cereal they have for breakfast, they really want to get to the action.

 

If you have noticed any of these errors in your own writing, don’t despair just yet. You still have time to fix them and improve your craft before you publish your story. Don’t try to put your book out until you have ironed out these issues, otherwise what could have potentially been a great book will fade into obscurity.

How not to write an e-book.

04 Wednesday Feb 2015

Posted by Jessica Wood in Editing, indie, story, writing

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

book, characters, dialogue, ebook, editing, manuscript, self publishing, writers, writing

I’ve been working with self published authors for a few years now and I can honestly say it’s the best job in the world. There’s nothing better than reading a great manuscript, helping to make it the best it can possibly be and watching the writer succeed.

I love that self publishing has allowed more authors than ever before to get their work out there without the rejection letters diminishing their confidence. But the downside is that it has opened the floodgates for every hack author to put their book out and hope it will mean instant overnight success. If you’re really serious about being a self published author, then these are the sins you want to avoid:

  1. Ask a friend to be your editor.

Asking a friend who got a C in GCSE English to edit your entire manuscript in exchange for a few beers isn’t a very fair exchange. Even a basic edit of a book takes time so it’s a pretty big favour to ask someone to do for free, meaning they’ll probably just half arse it and hope you won’t notice. If you want to sell any books, it’s worth the expense to hire an editor. If you really don’t have the money, at least ask a fellow writer to help you and maybe offer to edit their manuscript in exchange.

  1. Replace the plot with pages of dialogue.

Few writing sins will give you away as an amateur more than this one. I can’t tell you the number of terrible novels I’ve come across where the plot comes to a screeching halt for the characters to bitch at each other like they’re in a soap opera. Bad novelists constantly alternate between this and my next point.

  1. Describe every little detail.

When the characters aren’t arguing, they ditch the dialogue completely and describe every moment of the drive home from work and every random thought about cheating on their husband that pops into their heads. It drags the story down and makes it a chore to read. If this happens in your novel, then take out the red editing pen and cut mercilessly and brutally.

  1. Don’t bother with drafts.

You wouldn’t study for an exam by briefly looking over the notes you took in class and you would think writers wouldn’t put their books up for sale without writing a second, third or even fourth draft to eradicate any errors. It takes time and effort but the end result is a great book that will sell. Perhaps more importantly, the process will help you become a better writer.

  1. Ignore the craft of writing.

I think that the reason some writers do these things is because they don’t really care about being writers, or have a very warped idea of what being a writer actually entails. If you want to write a book, even as a hobby, you have to study and practice the craft of writing, just as you would for any other skill. This means reading as much as you can, joining a writer’s group, reading magazines and blogs about writing. The list goes on.

  1. Write a book just for fame and fortune.

This is the worst and sadly most common reason I see for people putting out terrible novels. They read rags to riches stories about people selling record number of e-books and think it’s an easy way to make money. Unfortunately, these success stories are rare and usually don’t mention the hundreds of hours and several failed books that came before the success.

Of course I believe that authors should do whatever they can to make money from their writing. At heart all of us just want to make a living doing what we really love and we should pursue that as much as possible. But there’s a difference from making money by doing what you truly love and pushing a book onto the market as if it’s any other product to be sold.

You only need to look at a few statistics to see how hard it is to make decent money from a book, which is why the truly successful, talented and happy writers do it as a labour of love, because frankly that’s the only reason you can do it.

 

These are just a few of the mistakes I’ve seen from the thankfully small number of hack writers I’ve worked with. If you’re reading this blog then that means you obviously care enough about writing to read about it and actually learn how to write a book.

But as all good authors know, writing the book is just half the battle. Next time I’ll tell you how not to market an e-book.

Manga review – Strawberry Panic volume 1.

14 Friday Nov 2014

Posted by Jessica Wood in adaptation, anime, manga review, musings, random, series review, shojo, story, writing

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

adaptation, anime, Aoi Nagisa, character development, dialogue, fanfiction, girl love, Hanazono Shizuma, light novel, manga, manga review, mary sue, review, romance, strawberry panic, sub plot, writing, yuri

It’s been a very long time since I’ve done a review on this blog, but after seeing this manga at the library in my new town, I knew I had to tear it to shreds. I’m just evil like that sometimes.

cover 1

Strawberry Panic is a yuri series about the various romantic relationships of a group of students attending three affiliated catholic all girl’s schools. It started life as a series of short stories in Dengeki G’s Magazine with couples decided by reader polls. Their success was followed up by light novel, visual novel, and a manga adaptations and then an anime series. It seemingly wasn’t until the anime adaptation that the series developed any plot, character development or charm. (I haven’t read the light novels but they sound fairly good too.) This volume of the manga reads like a terrible fanfiction; just a bunch of gooey, pointless romantic scenes all squashed together with only the barest hint of a plot holding them all together. The characters are even described as typical Mary Sues with ‘ivory hair’ ‘porcelain skin’ and ‘goddess like beauty’.

SP 3 001

The first volume starts the same as the anime with new student Aoi Nagisa getting lost on her first day at St Miator academy and becoming instantly enamoured when she runs into the beautiful and mysterious Hanazono Shizuma. She is the ‘Etoile’ who is basically like the royalty of the three schools. The story then quickly cuts to a week later when Nagisa has to accompany Shizuma on their assigned duty to collect holy water for the Easter celebration. The nuns must have been waiting for that holy water until Christmas because almost half of the book is the two of them wandering around to various places along the way and getting into random ‘romantic’ scenarios. They even have one in the middle of a crowded classroom, during class! Was the sister just sitting at the back playing Angry Birds while this was going on?

SP 4 001

The catholic school setting of this series has always confused me. I think it might have been for the ‘forbidden love’ angle but considering that virtually every character in this series is a lesbian and the staff never seem too bothered with the various lesbian couples, possibly even encouraging them to get together, their relationships hardly seem forbidden. The sister in the manga even says ‘the student going with you today will have an “eventful” time, won’t she?’.

‘Now girls, no lesbian sex while class is in session. Save that for mass this evening.’

‘Now girls, no lesbian sex while class is in session. Save that for mass this evening.’

Yes, the sisters of this school are fully aware of all the lesbian sex that is happening all the time and don’t even care! Maybe this is set in a world where Catholicism is more lax on these things, but then why include the catholic school setting in the first place then?

All this stupidity distracted me from the story, what little there is. Nagisa and Shizuma seemingly forget all about their classes or the holy water and go to the library, where the students all meet up for ‘liaisons’. There’s a really weird scene between two supporting characters, Hikari and Yaya, who are there to spy on Hikari’s crush, a popular girl named Amane, who is so popular she is nicknamed ‘The Prince’. Yaya has a crush on Hikari and randomly starts touching her up. And then we go back to Nagisa and Shizuma and the scene is never mentioned again! This will happen a lot in this manga, in fact the whole thing is basically random seduction scenes that are dropped and never brought up for the rest of the story.

SP 5 002

About half way through the manga suddenly remembers it has a plot and there’s a long tedious dialogue about the upcoming Etoile elections, but it’s still nothing more than a bunch of random scenes spliced together that go nowhere.

Meanwhile, Nagisa’s best friend and room mate Tamao has come to find Nagisa and Shizuma. I assume they spent so long fetching the holy water that everyone thought they had died. Tamao and Nagisa’s relationship is basically an expy of Sakura and Tomoyo from Cardcaptor Sakura, minus all likability. Tamao has a huge crush on Nagisa, who remains oblivious despite Tamao’s rather…disturbing attachment to her. While this was mostly played for laughs in the anime and you could still admire the close friendship between the two, in the manga it’s downright creepy. If you thought Tomoyo dressing up Sakura and video taping her was weird, then stay away from this manga.

Tamao stumbles upon Nagisa with Shizuma and assumes that they’ve already done it, and with the amount of time they’ve been away it’s understandable that she’d make that assumption. But Nagisa cheers her up with a cheesy ‘we’re such good friends yay!’ scene that still sounds like it came out of a poorly written love confession.

SP 7 001

To halt Tamao’s advances towards Nagisa, Shizuma announces that she’s going to enter the Etoile competition with Nagisa and then just leaves, so Nagisa doesn’t really have any choice in the matter despite being the supposed main character.

While in the anime Nagisa was naïve and clumsy, she was also kind, cheerful and actually called Shizuma out on her actions. In the manga she feels like nothing more than a Barbie doll who cares more about how pretty her uniform is than anything else, with dialogue like ‘Hymns sound kinda cool!’. She just drifts from scene to scene and lets things happen to her rather than have any actual say in them. ‘Nagisa, you’re my lover now.’ ‘Nagisa, we’re entering the Etoile competition now.’ ‘Nagisa, we’re going to fight an army of orcs now.’

SP1 001

After all that, I’m not sure they even delivered the holy water…

The last chapter switches focus to Hikari and Amane, who were by far my favourite couple in the anime. Too bad their sweet, emotional story is a copy of Nagisa and Shizuma’s, except with more whining and George Lucas esque dialogue.

Bleurgh....

Bleurgh….

The Etoile entrants are announced and Amane isn’t happy with who she’s been paired with. The book ends on a sort of cliffhanger, teasing the identity of who Amane’s partner is, but since this hasn’t been foreshadowed at all I’m sure it’s not that exciting anyway.

I feel bad comparing this manga to a fanfic because there are tonnes of fanfics that are much better written than this manga. It’s just fluffy spank material with no substance to it at all and barely any effort put into the writing. I found the second and final volume in the library as well so I’ll be reviewing that next week. I just really want to know if they finally deliver the holy water…

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