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Wood the Writer

~ Author of Tales From Undersea

Wood the Writer

Tag Archives: creative writing

Why is Fantasy Obsessed With Royalty?

22 Friday Feb 2019

Posted by Jessica Wood in author, Blog, Common Criticism, criticism, culture, fairy tale, fantasy, musings, romance, story, writing

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creative writing, culture, fairy tale, fantasy writing, royalty, writing

If you polled fantasy readers on the most overdone tropes in fantasy fiction, chances are that most of them will name something like ‘the rebellious princess’ or ‘the stableboy who becomes king’ or any of the other numerous royalty tropes which frequently appear in fantasy. Yet it doesn’t stop fantasy authors from churning out a constant stream of books about royals, or readers from consuming them. It has reached the point that members of a royal family have almost become the go-to cast for a fantasy novel, and sometimes it can be difficult to find a fantasy book which doesn’t feature a member of the monarchy in some form. If royals are such an overdone fantasy cliché, why are we still so obsessed with them?


Photo by King’s Church International on Unsplash

…And they lived happily ever after

It all goes back to where modern-day fantasy spawned from – fairy tales. The standard fairy tale plot is a princess gets captured or imprisoned, a hero shows up out of nowhere to save her, and he is rewarded with the princess’ hand in marriage and half the kingdom.

They may be old and horribly outdated much of the time, yet they are still the stories we are told as children, whether it is through bedtime stories or Disney movies. This teaches us from a young and impressionable age that being a Princess is something special and desirable and that a Prince is ideal marriage material.


Photo by Susanne Jutzeler from Pexels

The real-life fairy tale

This also explains why society is so obsessed with royalty in real life, despite several dark periods of history making royalty almost entirely obsolete in modern times. We’re well aware that modern monarchs are only figureheads with no real power anymore. Most of us are also aware that they’re living comfortable lives which none of us can ever hope for. Yet that didn’t stop tens of thousands of people from descending on London last year to watch the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle in Windsor Castle, or thousands more from watching it live on television. They have what we’ve been taught to desire, but instead of feeling jealous, we adore them for it.

Escape into fantasy

Time Magazine explains that our obsession with real life royals is a parasocial relationship, similar to our relationships with our favourite fictional characters. We form one-sided relationships and become invested in the drama and stories of their lives without actually interacting with them or having them directly impact our lives in any meaningful way.

Whether they are real life or fictional, royals provide us with a necessary means of escapism. The British people don’t care that the royal family are costing them money at a time when their financial and political future is uncertain. They ignore the fact that high expectations and constant media bombardment probably make the life of a royal more stressful than it appears in pictures. They prefer to think about the dresses and parties and the smiling faces they see in the newspaper.

Carfax2 / WikiCommons

Fantasy is one of the prime forms of escapist fiction, and what could be more escapist than picturing yourself as the beautiful princess living in a fairy tale castle and falling in love with the handsome prince? Even the old fairy tales provided an escapist fantasy for regular people to envision themselves rising above their stations and becoming royalty.

Prawny / Pixabay

In reality, being a public figurehead would be incredibly stressful, a castle would be cold and drafty to live in, and falling in love at first sight with a prince you barely know probably wouldn’t work out in the long term. Yet even knowing all this, it’s still much nicer to just think about the happily ever after.

The media cycle

Media outlets know that royalty is used as a form of escapism and that they can use this obsession to increase their sales. Being fed a constant stream of articles, images, and news pieces about royals keeps them in our collective consciousness and keeps people buying newspapers or clicking on news websites. Disney keeps on making movies about princesses because they are fully aware that they will sell more toys and more trips to Disneyworld. Similarly, publishers keep putting out book after book featuring royals because they know that as overdone as it is, readers will keep buying them, and the publishing cycle will continue.

Updating a tale as old as time

Yet a constant stream of books about royalty doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing, or a sign of an unoriginal writer. Our knowledge of royalty also comes from history and folklore. Historically, a king was much more of an ‘everyman’ and representative of the people with a lot more say in the management and safety of his kingdom. This makes royals ideal protagonists for fantasy fiction based upon a historical setting, since they will need to make decisions which affect their entire kingdom. It provides more leverage for everybody’s favourite trope, the forbidden romance, with the royal finding a way to marry for love rather than political reasons. If you look closely enough at history, you’ll find that there are many more obscure royals or little-told-stories which would make for great fantasy books.

There are a multitude of creative ways that modern readers can use royalty to subvert the old tropes and put a fresh spin on them to attract more readers. This is why we are seeing more stories about overweight princesses, transgender princes, or royals from cultures which aren’t quasi-European. The beautiful princess and the handsome prince are still good starting points for writers, but it is up to them what to do with these old favourites.

Recommended fantasy books about royalty:

The Icemark Chronicles by Stuart Hill

The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley

Pegasus by Robin McKinley

Top Four Book Subplots Which Were Better Than the Main Plot

20 Monday Nov 2017

Posted by Jessica Wood in author, Blog, Common Criticism, criticism, fantasy, romance, story, villain, writing, writing advice

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

creative writing, lit, subplot, writing, writing tips

Subplots and side characters serve an important narrative role in fiction. They fill out the world and break up the story so that the main cast aren’t overwhelmed with solving every problem. This is why authors should give just as much love and attention to them as they do the main plot and characters. But there are some books in which the subplots and the characters within them are actually better than the main plot. Sometimes you find yourself dragging through the main plot and waiting with anticipation for the subplot to start up again. These are some subplots which I liked far better than the novel’s main plot (again, this is all opinion based, so don’t get your panties in a bunch if I include something you like):

Eragon – Roran’s story

The main plot: A Gary-Stu stumbles upon an adorable baby dragon and a bunch of other abilities and makes a lot of powerful friends. They travel the world of inexplicable geography to rip of Star Wars and every other fantasy story ever to take down the evil emperor, who is only evil because the author says he is. At one point the protagonist spends an entire chapter hanging around some woods and thinking about how ants are neat.

The sub plot: A normal farm boy with no special powers or privileges goes out into a world he barely knows to avenge his fallen father, save the survivors of his village, and rescue his true love, all so that he can return to living a normal life with the ones he loves.

So awesome that they were of course cut from the movie

The Hunger Games – Basically any of the other subplots

The main plot: A girl appears on a reality tv death show, takes down the government, and still has time for the most overblown love triangle ever. All for a poorly thought out social commentary that rich people are bad (who knew?).

The sub plot: Two kindred spirits both suffering from post-traumatic stress have a forbidden romance with one of them being used by the President as a sex slave, yet still help the other deal with their mental issues. When they finally wind up happy together, one of them is unceremoniously killed off-page.

The other sub plot: At age 12, Rue is already caring for her younger siblings until she is chosen for The Hunger Games, or super happy death camp. She survives for a long time thanks to her hiding abilities until her death sparks the first riot amongst the regular population which leads to the takedown of the government.

How the entire series went in my head

His Dark Materials – Mary Malone and the mulefa

The main plot: Two super special awesome kids with overpowered plot devices go on a quest to kill God, despite having no real qualms against him, go to the world of the dead just because they can, and have a tragic ending for no real reason. The message is that religion is a lie, even though God and the afterlife literally exist in this multiverse.

The sub plot: A nun-turned-scientist discovers gateways between worlds and comes to live with a bizarre alternate reality race who help her uncover the nature of the entire universe and how to save it.

The Princess Bride – Inigo Montoya’s revenge

The main plot: In the book version at least, two overblown romance novel stereotypes with no real personalities or likeable attributes go through a bunch of overblown romance novel clichés and almost die for each other BECAUSE TRUE LOVE!!

The sub plot: A man who witnessed his father’s murder as a child dedicates his entire life to avenging him, but instead becomes a washed up drunk assisting the main idiots with their stupid problems. He finally gets his revenge in the most awesome fight scene ever and becomes a legendary pirate, showing us how far a person will really go for the sake of true love.

The real reason we all read the book

Top Five Anime Cliches That Novelists Should Avoid

13 Monday Nov 2017

Posted by Jessica Wood in anime, Common Criticism, criticism, fantasy, romance, shojo, story, villain, writing, writing advice

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

anime, creative writing, lit, novel writing, writer, writing tips

When I began my first novel, I spent a lot of my free time watching anime. This bled into my writing and caused me to fill my book with characters and plot elements similar to those I had seen in anime.

It was only when I looked back at my first drafts that I saw just how out of place this influence was. These tropes are perfectly acceptable in anime, even if most of them are considered clichés, but don’t belong in a novel. If you’re having the same problem that I had, these are some of the anime stereotypes to look out for and leave out of your novel:

Complex love charts

Practically every anime has a complex chart of who has a crush on who, setting the ground for how the chart will be sorted out and who is going to end up with who in the end. A novel doesn’t have the same amount of time for relationship development as a 52-episode anime, so it won’t have the space to solve such a complex love chart. Novel readers also aren’t as into love triangles as anime fans are, despite what publishers will have you believe. Keep your love charts as simple as possible and resolve them fully by the end of your book.

But the chart says…

Anime hair

I’m majorly jealous of the girls in anime. They all have wacky hair colours in styles that are impossible in real life. It’s tempting to give your novel characters a similar appearance in order to make them a little more different or quirky. But while we expect girls in anime to have weird hair colours and styles, it won’t make as much sense in a novel, unless you can somehow explain where a medieval-esque fantasy society are getting so much hair dye.

Oh sure, it’s easy when you wear a wig…

Casual physical abuse

The trademark of the ‘yandere’ character is to punch their love interest into the sunset for the smallest of mistakes. Not only is this considered horribly abusive behaviour, it makes the characters despicable, not lovable. In real life, this person would either be in jail or undergoing severe psychiatric treatment. If your novel characters abuse their partners, or anyone else, it should only be if you are writing them as purposefully villainous.

Typical anime love interest

Harems

A classic anime story – A completely normal, average guy, serving as the surrogate for the romantically frustrated male audience, winds up with at least half a dozen beautiful young girls, who all magically love him despite his complete lack of a personality. It’s a male fantasy that may work in anime and visual novel games, but has no place in actual novels.

Not pictured: Personality

Lovable pervert

I think it’s fairly obvious what this character is all about. It’s difficult to make an outwardly perverted character likeable, as they will come across as creepy and rapey instead. If you try to make this character into the love interest, it will be even more unbelievable, as nobody will believe that this person can magically become monogamous through the power of love. Your novel characters may experience attraction or a sexual awakening like everyone does, but try to keep their perversions to a minimum.

Top five books with good premise but bad execution

27 Sunday Aug 2017

Posted by Jessica Wood in author, Blog, book review, criticism, fantasy, musings, romance, steampunk, story, top 5 list, writing

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Tags

book criticism, books, creative writing, lit, writing

If you could name one thing in common with all your favourite books, it would probably be that they all have an excellent premise. Perhaps it is a new twist on an old genre, a unique location, or a fascinating character. It is the thing which made you choose the book over thousands of others on the shelves.

But like me, you might have frequently found yourself drawn into a book by its excellent premise only to find that the content of the book is severely lacking, or not what you were expecting. These are some of the books I have read which I had high hopes for but which I felt weren’t carried out well (this is all opinion based so don’t get your panties in a bunch if I slag off a book that you like):

Obsidian Mirror by Catherine Fisher

The premise: A teenage boy travels to a remote English villa to find out what happened to his missing father, and uncovers mysterious secrets.

The execution: Mystery, time travel, steampunkish tech, faeries, and some other stuff I just didn’t get all jammed together into one book. This book had a strong opening, but then threw so much stuff at me all at once that I barely had time to take it all in or keep track of what was going on.

The King’s Sister by Anne O’Brien

The premise: A story about Elizabeth of Lancaster, sister of King Henry IV and a little-known figure of history.

The execution: Medieval soap-opera melodrama and problems which were either solved way too quickly or just seemed to solve themselves eventually anyway.

Bearers of the Black Staff by Terry Brooks

The premise: A highly different fantasy which is set not in another world or the distant past, but in the post-apocalyptic far future.

The execution: Just another bog-standard sword-and-sorcery fantasy. There are so many things that could have been done with this premise- Magic duels in the ruins of skyscrapers, contemporary stories becoming folklore, everyday modern objects viewed as sacred artefacts. If you want this same premise done much better, read the Mortal Engines series instead.

The Wolf Princess by Cathryn Constable

The premise: A teenage orphan and her friends get the chance to travel to a remote palace in Russia and uncover hidden family secrets.

The execution: Cliched characters, a protagonist who is barely active in her own story, and huge, completely noticeable plot holes.

Dragon’s Child by M.K. Hume

The premise: An origin story for King Arthur, focusing heavily on the Roman Britain setting.

The execution: Murder, rape, torture, paedophilia, slavery, and just plain uncomfortable reading.

 

What are some books which you thought were going to be great but severely let you down? Tell me in the comments below.

New Short Story – Alone in the Picture Gallery

22 Wednesday Feb 2017

Posted by Jessica Wood in art, culture, Short story, story, writing

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creative writing, flash fiction, lit, picture gallery, short story, writing, writing prompt

I have returned from the slumbering depths with a new short story! Ok, I’ve actually been super busy with work over the past month and have had a few sick days too, but I have scraped together enough time to post this new short story, which is actually closer to flash fiction.

This is another short that I’ve been re-working and sending off to several contests and anthologies without luck. I feel that I’ve done enough with it that I possibly could so I’ve decided to post it here for my blog visitors to enjoy.

I began this short with a prompt to write something inspired by a museum visit, so I wrote about a real experience I had back when I volunteered at a museum in the UK. The details are slightly different, but this basically did happen to me. Hope you enjoy:

This work is my possession and must not be repeated or re-printed anywhere else without my prior consent.

Alone in the Picture Gallery

exhibition-362163_640

I always looked forward to rainy days. They were bad for most people but not for me. Fewer visitors to the museum made my work go much quicker and gave me some alone time with the artworks. The museum became my personal playground for a short while. I knew that it needed visitors and their precious donation money to stay open but I still much preferred peaceful days like that overcast Monday morning.

I had been checking the light levels of the paintings just as I did every day. There was nothing unusual about them on that day. The dull sky was good for the paintings so I was even happier.

The old man’s blaring voice came out of nowhere, startling me.

“What’s that you’re doing?” He said, appearing behind me suddenly like something out of a cartoon. I must have been so absorbed in my work that I hadn’t noticed him approach me.

“Light meter readings, sir.” I said, with my best ‘tourist smile’ on my face.

I was asked questions like these every day, even on a quiet Monday morning. It was all part of my job, but not one I particularly enjoyed. I’m much more comfortable taking care of paintings than I am talking to people. I rattled off my usual answer so that I could get back to my work.

“Long term exposure to direct sunlight damages the oil paintings, so I’m recording how much light-”

“Do you know how long I had to wait for the bus this morning?”

I was a little thrown back by his abrupt question. It was a little too much for my limited social skills.

“Uh…I don’t…I don’t know, sir.”

I thought that maybe he was making a complaint to me, being the only staff member in sight. But the museum didn’t even have a bus service, so what was he complaining about?

“Forty five minutes.” He said. “Forty five minutes standing in the rain! Can you believe it?”

“Yes, that is a long time to wait.” I mumbled awkwardly. Not knowing what else to say, I turned back to the painting. Socialising with customers wasn’t exactly my job, so I shouldn’t have to feel bad about it.

“There used to be one every half hour. Now they come every hour.” The old man continued.

“Oh…I see.” I said, hoping that writing on my clipboard would give him the message that I had a job to do.

“They’re all the same, aren’t they?” He said, following me as I walked to the next painting.

“I suppose so.” I said, not entirely sure who ‘they’ were.

“And the worst part is they see nothing wrong with it.”

I tried to shuffle to the left but he moved closer. His breath smelled like barley sweets. I was almost afraid that the stench would damage the paintings. I looked around the room, desperate to see a colleague I could rush to with an imaginary problem. But we were the only two people there.

“That’s our society for you, people becoming self-entitled. They want everything to be about them. I mean, we have two thousand television channels but are we any better off?”

By then I knew that I would be there for a while, trapped alone in the corner of the picture gallery by barley breath. I wanted to just say ‘Please excuse me, I need to get back to my work’ but my natural shyness wouldn’t let me. If I was bolder, I could have asked him why he waited for 45 minutes in the rain when he could’ve just stayed at home and come another day. But I didn’t.

My nodding had become rhythmic by that point. I discretely watched the door, hoping for a lost day tripper to wander in and ask me for help. But the whole museum seemed to have emptied of people. Nobody else would be silly enough to come out in this weather.

 

After fifteen minutes of his ranting, I was thinking of faking a horrible stomach condition just for an excuse to run from the room. I silently prayed for the radio on my belt to alert me of something urgent, but it stayed silent.

I cast a desperate glance at the long line of paintings I still had to check before noon. I thought that maybe I should just go and check them anyway, but I would feel rude, even in front of this miserable old fusspot. He’d just follow me around the entire museum until my shift was over anyway.

If I was more confident I would have screamed ‘Shut up! Shut up you stupid old windbag, no one cares about your stupid tiny problems except for you. Why else would you stand in the rain for forty five minutes and come to museums just to find someone to moan at?’ But I didn’t. I just stood there smiling and nodding, crying internally.

“…Sent the letter four weeks ago and they still haven’t done anything about it. You’d think they’d do more considering what they’re paid, don’t you agree?”

What? What had he been talking about? Was it the supermarket aisles being moved around or the neighbour’s dog barking at 3am? Whatever it was, I was sure it couldn’t be more annoying than cornering a random museum employee to use as a personal comments box. Isn’t this what the newspaper letters section was invented for?

“Oh yes, of course.” I said, smiling and nodding like a dashboard ornament, the only social rules I knew. I hadn’t been paying attention to what he’d been saying for a while now, but I hoped that was the right response. I’m sure he wouldn’t have noticed anyway. He just wanted someone to agree with his insane ramblings. Maybe if I wasn’t so annoyed, I would have actually felt sorry for him.

“It’s outrageous, isn’t it?” He said, chuckling to himself, inciting me to give an obviously fake laugh in response.

The strangest thing happened then. He turned around, still laughing to himself, and left the room. My forced smile finally drooped. The stench of his breath would haunt me for weeks. Worse than that, he had stolen fifteen minutes of my work time then wandered off as if it had been nothing.

He hadn’t even left a donation in the box.

 

Top Seven Worst Types of Love Interest

28 Thursday Jan 2016

Posted by Jessica Wood in Blog, Common Criticism, musings, romance, story, tv, writing, writing advice

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

bad writing, creative writing, love interest, muse, romance, romance cliches, romance fiction, story, writers, writing

A while ago I talked about the types of love story that turn my stomach. Today I’m going to talk about the types of love interest which make me throw a book into a fireplace, or throw the remote at the television. I’m not going to go on about Mary Sues or Manic Pixie Dream Girls because other people have already given hilarious parodies of those. These are the ones which I personally can’t stand.

  1. The Plank of Wood.

A Plank of Wood appropriately named Rod.

A Plank of Wood appropriately named Rod.

This is when the love interest is so underdeveloped they could be replaced by a plank of wood and it wouldn’t make much difference to the story or romance arc. This can happen generally with poorly written characters but its even worse if that character is supposed to be a love interest. How are we supposed to buy that this person can be loved if they have virtually no personality or redeeming features?

  1. The Karma Love Interest

big bang

Something which frequently appears in sitcoms with a ‘beauty and the geek’ romance. This is where the love interest, usually a female, is an embodiment of all the popular girls who refused to date the geeky guy in high school, making up for what horrible bitches all the girls were to him. Or perhaps it’s a girl who wouldn’t give him the time of day in high school but is now hopelessly in love with him, despite the fact that he hasn’t changed at all. I’m not the only one who felt that Ross and Rachael would just break up again a few years after the grand finale. I don’t even get why they would be interested in the type of girl who made their adolescence a living hell anyway.

It’s unfortunate because it almost implies that guys, no matter how horrible their personalities are, don’t have to try and change themselves but simply wait for girls to come around, stop being bitches, and fall in love with them. Yet if the genders are reversed, the girl will have to drastically change both inside and out to get the guy. Wow, I just made a horrifying revelation…

  1. The Muse

No amount of catchy pop tunes can save this romance.

No amount of catchy pop tunes can save this romance.

Closely linked to the manic pixie dream girl who often has a bit of the muse within her. This is where Person A falls for Person B not so much for who they are but for how they inspire them to create their artworks. Again, it is unfortunate as it is clear there is little basis for the couple to form a relationship and once the artist has finished his project, he can just dump her and find a new muse.

Just as bad is when an artist falls in love with a literal muse, which has been overused to the point of tedium. In fact, while writing this post I got the idea for a short story about a human falling in love with a muse for who they are, not for their artistic inspiration.

  1. The Replacement

'I know I had a crush on The Doctor last week but this is totally fine.'

‘I know I had a crush on The Doctor last week but this is totally fine.’

Often a form of lazy writing when a writer can’t think of what else to do with a character so they just shove in a new love interest for the sake of drama. The object of a character’s affections has just died or decided they’re not interested. What to do, show them getting on with their life? Think of an interesting new story for them? Nah, let’s shoe-horn in another love interest right away.

  1. The Dumbass in Distress

We all know where this is going...

We all know where this is going…

Another old trope which is still discussed a lot, Person A falls for Person B because he saves her, often repeatedly. But if it’s such an outdated story, why does it still keep appearing? Is it because we still see the person being rescued as the reward and believe they should fall in love with the rescuer as thanks? The whole concept of falling for someone because they saved your life makes no sense anyway. Sure they’re probably a good person if they saved someone, but they probably just did that because they saw that person in danger and natural instincts kicked in. It’s really not much to base an entire relationship upon.

  1. The One That Got Away

Don't do what Gatsby does...

Don’t do what Gatsby does…

This is when a would-be-couple is separated for many years then they re-enter each other’s lives again. Either Person A will suddenly fall in love with Person B again despite barely thinking about them for years or will still love them throughout the years not for who they are but for who they were years ago. People change a lot as time goes by so the person they are pining for has probably become a different person than the one they originally fell for. I think it can work if the characters get to know each other all over again and find that they still have things they like about each other, but I don’t think things that happened ten years ago should be the basis for an entire relationship.

  1. The Love Interest…And Not Much Else

I actually love Ygritte but god damn it...

I actually love Ygritte but god damn it…

Sure writers often have to insert characters to serve the role of love interest, but there are too many characters who exist only to be a love interest and have no purpose to exist beyond that. They might not even like or even interact with any other characters in the story because they only have eyes for the protagonist. It is much better for this character to make an impact not only in the romance part of the story but some other aspect of it as well, which doesn’t mean being kidnapped by the villain and used as the reward. Not only will the readers like them much more but they will be a better-rounded and developed character.

 

Are there any other types of love interest which turn you off? What love interests do you want to see more of instead? List them in the comments below!

 

 

Top Seven Signs of Good Writing

01 Thursday Oct 2015

Posted by Jessica Wood in Common Criticism, culture, fairy tale, fantasy, film, musings, story, writing, writing advice

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

backstory, creative writing, exposition, good storytelling, good writing, novel, novel writing, storytelling, the hobbit, villain, worldbuilding, writing, writing advice, writing tips

Last time I talked about the warning signs of bad writing, so I thought it only fair that I also talk about the signs of good writing. It’s much more difficult to define, as ‘good’ writing is subjective and it isn’t always possible to identify why we find something enjoyable. Years of Hollywood films and creepy book fads has also taught us that what is good isn’t necessarily the same as what is popular or financially successful. Still, these are the things I’ve discovered which set great novelists apart:

  1. Exposition done right.

Exposition is one of the hardest things for writers to learn. It is far too easy to dump all of your worldbuilding into the novel all at once or forget about it completely. Writers who can figure out the right balance are amongst the most skilled.

  1. Something unique.

No novel can be 100% original, unless you want an incomprehensible avant-garde mess, but all of the best novels contain something that is different from the rest. It doesn’t matter if it’s a relationship, a setting, or a little seen perspective. If the book can beat a reader’s expectations in a good way then it is doing something right.

  1. Diverse cast.

Most authors and publishers are beginning to wake up to the issue of diversity in fiction (or lack thereof), but there is still a long way to go. For many writers it still means shoehorning in a black side character then not knowing what to do with them and killing them off about a third of the way through. This is why there is nothing more refreshing than an author who accurately and sympathetically portrays a diverse cast of characters fitting for the novel’s setting.

  1. Villains with backstory.

And by backstory, I mean more than just ‘tragic past’ or ‘they were created evil’. I often think that a story is only as good as its villain and a good villain is more than just a guy sitting on his black throne laughing about how evil he is and how much he loves suffering. If we can find out why they are bad, why they genuinely think that what they are doing is right, and how they react when everything they’ve been working for is ruined then that alone makes for a great story.

  1. Active characters.

PrincessAuroraSleeps

For God’s sake Aurora, get off your lazy ass and do something!

I’ve talked before about characters who exist in a story only to have things happen to them and not actively take charge of their own story. One of Pixar’s rules of storytelling is ‘Coincidences to get characters into trouble are great; coincidences to get them out of it are cheating.’ Stories need characters who will use their own skills, experiences, and qualities to make something happen and cause their own happy ending, not sit around and wait for somebody to do it for them. These characters gain much more sympathy than characters who just drift from scene to scene barely doing anything.

  1. Actions have consequences.

DSCF3529

Everything that your characters do or experience in the story must have some kind of reaction or consequence, be it positive or negative. The reason The Hobbit has remained a beloved story for 60 years and made a killing in the box office is that it isn’t a standard ‘Go on quest, defeat dragon, get gold’ story. Thorin Oakenshield goes across Middle Earth pissing off just about every person he meets and has to meet the consequences of this later on when he almost dooms the kingdom he’s been working so hard to retake. Almost everything that Bilbo and company encounter on their journey comes together in the climactic battle.

  1. The story leaves you with something.

This doesn’t have to mean a tacked on last minute lesson or moral. Whether it is an emotion, a memorable character, or just the feeling of a really good story, the novel should leave the reader with something other than just the thought ‘is that it?’

 

While I was putting together this list, I found out that what I have put here is actually just a small selection of what makes a good story. I wouldn’t be able to list all of them. Most bad novels use the same cut and paste formula as all the others. A great novel can be anything.

Top Six Signs of Bad Writing and How to Avoid Them

17 Thursday Sep 2015

Posted by Jessica Wood in Common Criticism, Editing, fantasy, indie, musings, self publishing, story, writing, writing advice

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

book editing, book editor, character, characters, creative writing, dialogue, editing, memoir, novel, novel writing, novel writing tips, plot, writing, writing advice, writing tips

I’ve been editing and reviewing books professionally for a few years now and I can now recognise within the first few pages whether a book is going to be good or not. This doesn’t always mean a book with spelling and grammar errors or unnecessarily long paragraphs. Those are all things that can be fixed during editing. But I do frequently review a book and know that not even the best editor could have made it good or successful. One of my Creative Writing tutors had a nice metaphor for this – You can polish a turd as much as you want but it won’t stop being a turd.

Take for example a book I edited last month for a successful businessman. The book was well structured, had a friendly and conversational tone, and the author clearly knew what he was talking about. I’ve even been using some of the business lessons in his book for my own business. But by the gods, could this man waffle on! Maybe that’s a common thing with business people. The other editors and I had to change almost every other sentence to make the book readable and I had to cut close to 4,000 words of unnecessary padding, sometimes whole paragraphs at a time. But I can still tell that despite the problems it had at the editing stage, the book will still sell well when it is published because of the most important part – the content. If a book has great content then all you need is some editing to polish it.

Sadly, many of the books I see are lacking that crucial element. It is sad when I can recognise the germ of a good idea that would’ve made a great book if it had been written correctly but the author either didn’t have the skills to pull it off or just didn’t care enough to try. Here are some of the most frequent red flags I see so that you can avoid them in your own books:

  1. Stories that go nowhere.

In the book I mentioned above, the author used many of his real life stories to back up his points, which were effective as they gave his book a more personal touch. The trouble with many inspirational memoirs I read is that the stories aren’t structured and any point they are trying to give is unclear. They go on, blend into each other, or just peter out completely.

Similarly, authors often just stop the story completely to go on a long off topic tangent about how they feel about something. These are often hard hitting portrayals of important real life issues, but they don’t belong in the book that the author is writing. If you want to make a point about these issues, then you have to do it in a way that doesn’t take the reader completely out of the story.

  1. Archetypical characters.

Christopher Vogler in his book The Writer’s Journey (a great writing book, by the way) listed the archetypical characters that make up almost every story; the hero, the herald, the wise old mentor, etc. But these are just the base that make up characters, they also need motivation, traits, backstory, and numerous other things to make up a whole person.

Unfortunately, many authors never go beyond the archetypical stage and just have their stories played out by characters who could be replaced by planks of wood. The women like to drink wine and bitch about their husbands. The men like to go down the pub and say sexist things about their wives. No variation in between, except for the nice, hunky guy who the woman is obviously supposed to have an affair with. Nobody wants to read a story if they aren’t invested in the characters and they won’t be invested unless the characters have something interesting and original about them.

  1. Standard plots.

Not only do bad authors use building block characters, they also use bog standard stories. It is true that all stories are essentially variations of the same basic plots; the quest, the love triangle, rags to riches, etc. But each author approaches these plots in a new way and tries to give it their own unique spin. For instance, the ‘overcoming the dark lord’ plot in Harry Potter is nothing new, but it works because of the engaging characters and unique setting. Lazy authors don’t bother with this and just stick to ‘good versus evil’ or ‘rescue the princess’ or one of the other stories you’ve heard a thousand times before.

  1. Magic power for every problem.

Another crucial detail missing from bad novels is peril. Even when we know that everything will work out fine in the end, we expect to be taken on a roller coaster ride of emotion until we get there and have our expectations questioned a few times along the way. Bad novelists overpower their main heroes and give them an automatic solution to every problem. A wizard always has the right spell or the warrior can defeat any foe. If the characters aren’t challenged even remotely then the novel is boring and there’s no point to reading it.

  1. Dialogue dumps.

This is how dialogue works in normal books:

“I just upgraded my Windows 98 computer to Windows 10.” Said Brad.

“But how?” Russ spluttered his chocolate milk. “Everyone knows that’s impossible.”

“I’m just that good.” Brad replied with a coy smile.

This is how dialogue works in a bad book:

I asked her ‘which boy are you going to pick? We have to solve this love triangle somehow’. She paced the floor and said ‘I don’t know. If only I could be with both of them at once. Is that weird?” And I said ‘No’ and then ‘But you have to pick soon because we have to save the world.’ That’s when the wolverines came.

Which one is easier to read?

  1. Mundane opening.

A novel’s opening is considered the most important part of the entire book and thus the part which the author should focus on the most, and there’s a good reason. Aside from the blurb, it is the first piece of the book that anyone will see, be it a reader or a publisher. A weak opening will make them put your book down and pick up the next one.

It is best not to open your book with something completely mundane – a character waking up and going about their morning routine, the drive home from work, or a lengthy description of the weather while the main character moans that ‘life just isn’t fair!’. These may seem like ideal ways to describe your character’s life, but readers don’t really care about what cereal they have for breakfast, they really want to get to the action.

 

If you have noticed any of these errors in your own writing, don’t despair just yet. You still have time to fix them and improve your craft before you publish your story. Don’t try to put your book out until you have ironed out these issues, otherwise what could have potentially been a great book will fade into obscurity.

Can you write a story in six words?

18 Monday May 2015

Posted by Jessica Wood in Editing, musings, Short story, story, writing, writing advice

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creative writing, editing, flash fiction, micro fiction, micro fiction writing, novel writing, novelist, short story, six word story, writer's block, writers, writing, writing contest

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Last year I wrote this article about how writing flash fiction, that is stories of 1,000 words or less, can help make you a better novel writer. I got some great feedback about that post from people saying how useful it was. One of the examples I noted was Ernest Hemingway’s famous six word story which he supposedly wrote on a bet:

‘For Sale: Baby shoes. Never worn.’

That’s the one everyone quotes as it’s the original and probably the best, but there are many other great examples.

This year I decided to take my micro fiction writing a step further when I saw a six word short story competition and decided to enter. At first I didn’t know where to start so I tried a technique I use when I’m trying to come up with new ideas. I made a list of about a dozen six word stories then left it for a night. The next day I went back to look over the list and found which ones worked. I re-worked and tweaked those stories until I thought they were right.

Regrettably, I became distracted by something else and almost missed the closing date of the contest. I ended up entering my stories at the last minute without doing a final check through them. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t win the contest but it was still a wonderfully creative exercise. I think it would make a great warm up exercise for a Creative Writing class or a way to get out of writer’s block. You can practise your writing skills and challenge yourself creatively without having to spend ages writing out a short story.

As a novelist and a Tolkein enthusiast, I always use excessive waffle in my stories so I think there are certain professions that are much better at this exercise than I am. Advertising copywriters are essentially doing this to sell products. News headlines need to grab the reader instantly. When you think about it, there are examples all around us of people telling micro stories every day. Some of them reminisce with us more than full length novels do. How many famous advertising slogans have been stuck in your head since you were a child?

It may seem hard to sum up an entire event or emotion in a few words but we do it all the time in our everyday speech. When we swear, we are basically venting all of our feelings and frustrations in a single word. We use the simplest words to express our deepest emotions, ‘Thank you’ or ‘I love you’.

As you can see, six word stories can teach us a lot about the usage and beauty of our language. I’m still learning how to write them myself so I’m not going to go into how it’s done just yet, but I do recommend you give it a go. It’s hard to get right but if you do, you’ll find how to write a great story with the bare minimum of waffle, which will help you with your long form writing. Maybe try writing a six word story every day or when you’re trying to get over a writing slump. You might even get good enough to enter or even win a contest.

Have you ever tried writing a six word story? Do you have any advice for how to write one? Leave a comment and tell me.

New short story – Fish and Chips.

23 Friday Jan 2015

Posted by Jessica Wood in Editing, Short story, story, writing

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creative writing, short story, writing, writing prompt

I’ve completed a new short story! I started writing this one a few years ago, using the writing prompt of taking a few random pictures and using them as the basis for a story, a very useful prompt that I use a lot. I rewrote and re-edited it many times and sent it out to several short story contests but I feel I’ve done as much for this story as I can do. Plus I’d like to focus on writing new stories instead of constantly rewriting my old ones. So here it is, hope you enjoy.

The copyright of this story belongs to me. It must not be republished or printed anywhere else without my prior consent.

Fish and Chips.

“I’m hungry.” Toby said, without taking his eyes away from the TV or his tobacco stained fingers off the remote.

“So?” I replied.

It was a typical evening; I was trying my hardest to focus on reading while he switched aimlessly between channels, swore loudly at the screen and turned the volume up higher each time I asked him to turn it down.

“So go get me something from the chippy.” He demanded. I pulled back the curtains in time to see the next door neighbour’s recycling bins being blown over by the wind, their spilled contents completely soaked by the rain within seconds.

“There’s some spaghetti hoops in the cupboard.” I said, closing the curtains on the turbulent night and returning to my book.

“I don’t want spaghetti hoops, I want a deep fried cod, chips, and sausage with ketchup and barbeque sauce. And hurry up, last time you took so long it was cold.”

“What’s the point of me buying those tins if you won’t touch them?” I asked, looking up from my book once more, quickly losing hope of reading any further. “The reason I get them is so we have some food in the cupboard whenever we want without having to go out all the time and wasting our money.”

“My money you mean.”

“I got a fresh baguette this morning that we can have with them.”

“I never told you to waste my money on spaghetti hoops.” He said, raising his voice. “And if I wanted a baguette I’d go to bloody France. Now get going before the chippy gets crowded.”

I rose from my comfortable chair in front of the fire, knowing full well that it would be taken by the time I got back. “I’ll need some money.”

Toby glared at me with disgust then rolled his eyes. He seemed to have been born with a permanent frown. His stained teeth, misshapen face and dirty nails certainly didn’t help with his appeal. It was easy to discern that he could never derive joy from anything. Except humiliating me, of course.

“You know I’m skint.” He said, taking a swig of his beer and burping loudly and purposefully in my direction with a rare hint of delight on his face.

“And yet you always have plenty when we’re at the betting shop.” I responded.

He picked up my book from the side table and flung it at me. I was used to him throwing things at me so I dodged it and it smacked into the wall instead of my head. At least that time the spine didn’t break; one more damaged book and the library would have banned me.

“Don’t be clever. Just because you read books doesn’t mean you know everything.”

“Maybe I should watch television and get drunk all day instead. Then I’ll know plenty.”

He threw the ashtray at me that time. It barely missed my shoulder, leaving a dark ash stain on the wall and the carpet covered in broken glass.

“Get to the damn chippy or I’m coming back to haunt you when I starve to death.” He snarled before turning his attention back to the TV.

Arguing was useless and I didn’t want anything else thrown at me. Even if I ended up in hospital he would still insist that I feed him. There was nothing more I could do other than gather up my last few remaining coins and prepare myself for the storm. His accusing eyes watched me the entire time, just looking for any excuse to blame me for something.

The moment I took a step out into the freezing night, an icy blast of wind and rain hit me in the face. I hadn’t even left the front porch and already I had to wipe the raindrops from my glasses.

“Close that door. You’re letting the cold in. My chips had better not be wet when you get back.” Toby bellowed from his chair.

“Don’t worry, your precious chips will be completely dry.” I called back, slamming the door and heading out. By the time I reached the end of the garden path my shoes were already soaked through. I wished I could afford to buy new ones but all of the little money I had went to indulging Toby. He didn’t need to be so paranoid about the chippy being crowded. Nobody would be stupid enough to go out for fish and chips in this weather.

 

Mr Papadopoulos, the man who ran the local takeaway, greeted me cheerfully as he always did, even as I dripped dirty rain water over his polished white tiles. He was eager for company as I appeared to be his only customer on that miserable evening.

“Nothing for you today?” He asked after he took my order. I didn’t even need to say anything; he already knew that I was running a forced errand for my house mate.

“Oh you know how it is, money’s a bit tight right now. But it’s ok, I’ve got some spaghetti hoops at home. And a baguette.” I replied, inching over to the radiator and feeling guilty about spreading the puddle I was making even further.

“Well I’m sure it’ll get better. A smart lad like you should have no trouble finding a job.”

“It’s not that easy. That’s why I had to move back in with Toby.” I mumbled awkwardly, eyeing the holiday pamphlets on the counter top.

“It’s good of you to do all of this for him.” Papadopoulos said with a kind but pitying smile.

“He lets me stay in his house. I owe him something.” I said as I handed over the last of my change to pay for Toby’s dinner.

“Yes, but running around after him is hardly worth room and board. Where would Toby be without you? I doubt he could even buy a train ticket without someone to do it for him.” He said.

I noticed that he put in a few extra chips when he boxed up the food. As much as I appreciated the gesture, I knew that I wouldn’t be getting any of them. I would be lucky to have a bite of the gristle. “Have a good evening.” He said as he handed me the box.

I sheltered it under my coat as I set back out into the cold. The last time I brought the food back just a little damp, Toby said it was ruined and sent me out again.

The box felt so warm and the fish smelt delicious, particularly inviting on such a night. And it wasn’t even for me. Just for once, I wished it was for me.

 

Finally back in the living room, and dripping all over the recently cleaned carpet, I found Toby, as I expected, in my chair by the fire. The remains of the ash tray were still there but Toby had at least picked up my library book from the floor. His beer can was resting on top of it.

I held out the box as if I was making an offering to appease an angry god and he grabbed it expectantly.

“At last. I was wearing away to my bones. You really took your time. I don’t know how much longer I would’ve-” He stopped, staring perplexed into the box for a moment. “You took a bite out of this, didn’t you?” He shot me an angry look.

“What? No.” I replied, completely truthfully. I had picked off the skin, not bitten it. “I don’t need fish and chips, I’ve got some spaghetti hoops in the cupboard.”

“What’s this then?” He said, holding the box out towards me. Almost the whole top half of the skin was missing.

“It came like that.” I said, retrieving my book and wiping the beer drops and cigarette ash off the cover, trying my hardest not to grin.

“It came with half the skin missing?”

“Or maybe it fell off.” I said, sitting in the vacant chair and picking up the heavily worn TV guide. He rifled through the chips, under the fish and sausages and even in the pot of sauce.

“It’s not there.”

“Mr Papadopoulos must not have had time to wrap it very tightly. Just like you said, the chippy was packed.” I said without taking my eyes off the page.

“It was in a box, not wrapped. How could it fall out?”

I didn’t need to look at him to know how red his face was turning.

“Oh, now I remember. I tripped on the broken step when I came in. Almost twisted my ankle again. It must have dropped off out there. Moulin Rouge is starting in a minute.”

I risked a peek over the edge of the magazine. His face was lobster red. It reminded me of last summer when I told him not to go out without sun lotion.

He marched to the door, flung it open, nearly ripping it off its hinges (it wouldn’t be the first time) and went out into what was by then close to an Arctic storm. With only the light from the living room to see with, he squatted down and started scanning the paving slabs. “So where do you think you dropped it?”

“Hold on, let me think…Uh, yes, I believe it went in the grass.” I turned on the TV to Moulin Rouge, a film I knew he hated.

“Turn that down. Where in the grass?” He called over the noise of the TV.

“I don’t know, just somewhere in the grass.” I said, picking up the takeaway box and dunking a couple of chips into the sauce. I watched as he squinted at the leaves and twigs, dislodging them while trying to avoid the dirt. “Your food is getting cold.” I called to him

“You lied to me again. There’s no skin out here.” Toby said, not looking at me as I started on the first sausage.

“Well I never actually said it definitely fell off out there, if you’ll remember.”

I heard his words catch in his throat, followed by a series of short gasping noises.

“Well?” He said, his rage close to unleashing. “Where is it then?”

“If it’s not out there then it must still be at the chippy.”

“Right, I’ll get that Papadopoulos for this. Thinks he can cheat me out of my skin.” He said, marching down the path, not even noticing the rain or that he wasn’t wearing a coat.

“Have a good time.” I stood waving from the front door.

“You shut up. I’ll deal with you when I get back.” He hollered back.

I waited until he had left the garden path before finally closing the door on the cold then heading to the kitchen to get a Pepsi from the fridge. I felt a little sorry for sending an angry Toby to Mr Papadopoulos. But I also remembered what had happened to the last person who had shouted abuse at him.

 

It was almost an hour later when I got his call. I hadn’t expected him to take so long.

“Yeah?” I said as I answered his call.

“It wasn’t there!” He screamed down the phone.

“I never said it was.”

“And Papadopoulos punched me in the face.”

“You shouldn’t have been so horrible to him. He works very hard and takes great pride in what he does, and why shouldn’t he? That fish was delicious and his chips are the best.”

“I knew it! I knew you ate it. Couldn’t help yourself could you? I ask you to do one thing and you have to go and be all greedy. You think you’re so smart but I had you all along. You rat…” He stopped. I already knew why.

“Something wrong?” I said, wishing he could see my smirk.

“It’s gone! All of it!”

“Not all of it. I saved half for later. I have a long trip ahead of me.” I said, glancing at the airtight box stashed in my bag.

“You had my last Pepsi too. Where are you?”

“I’m not sure.” I said, again completely truthfully. It was so dark outside that I couldn’t even tell where the train was passing through. “By now I could be anywhere between home and Athens. Mr Papadopoulos says it’s lovely there.”

“You…You never appreciated anything I did for you. All you do is moan. And now you’ve gone and left me with nothing to eat, you selfish little-”

“Actually, I did think of that. I left something for you on a plate in the fridge. Oh, and could you do me a favor and return my book to the library? Otherwise there will be a fine, and you know who’ll have to pay that, you being the responsible one and everything.” I ended the call before I had time to hear any more from him and settled back in my seat, nibbling on one of the remaining chips.

Listening to the rain pelting the train window, I closed my eyes and imagined him rushing to the fridge like a starving beggar and yanking the door open. I grinned as I pictured the look on his face when he saw the Chinese takeaway menu sitting on the plate.

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