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Tales From Undersea Character Profiles. Part 2 – Villains

01 Wednesday Jun 2022

Posted by in author, Blog, Bonus content, character profiles, pirate, steampunk, villain

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I previously posted the character profiles for the heroes in the Tales From Undersea series, but haven’t yet gotten around to the villains. So here they are! These are only the villains from the first two books, in order to avoid some major spoilers:

Petturi Konna

Captain of the Fenrir

Real name: Lewis Mercier

Name meaning/origin: English, ‘famous battle’

Race: Caucasian

Nationality: English

Birthplace: Penzance, England

Sex: Cis male

Age: 48

Orientation: Heterosexual

Languages: English

Deity: None

Family: Father (deceased), mother (estranged), 3 brothers (estranged)

Appearance: Thinning, balding dark red hair usually tied back, beer belly, dark brown eyes

Virtues: Intelligent, tactful, persuasive

Vices: Obsessive, vengeful, paranoid

Skills: Monster fighting, ocean knowledge, gathering information, lying

Weapons: Longsword, axe, duelling pistol

Flag: Two headed dragon on black background

Influences – Count Olaf (A Series of Unfortunate Events), Fagin (Oliver Twist), Captain Hook (Peter Pan)

Note: He is a poor fighter and compensates with trickery.

 

Background: Originally from a poor, abusive family in Penzance.  He had to steal to keep himself and his brothers alive, and even killed their landlord so they wouldn’t be evicted. His mother was so horrified by this act that she kicked him out and he moved Undersea. He eventually joined Redscalp’s crew, becoming his quartermaster. He became increasingly bitter and greedy, even leaving Priscilla and Robert to die for his personal gain. He helped Redscalp to hide the treasure but Redscalp hid the gemstone without his knowledge and wouldn’t tell him where. He intended to steal back the gemstone and the treasure for himself and got Redscalp drunk so he’d reveal where the gemstone is. But he gave him too much and he drank himself to death (specifically by drowning in his own vomit). He changed his identity and became captain of a Viking ship to avoid detection because the Pirate Queen was looking to punish him for his crimes. He spent years looking for the gemstone so that he could get the treasure back.

Captain Grail

Captain of The Invicta

Full name: Captain Richard Theodore Nigel Grail

Name origin/meaning: English, ‘brave ruler’

Age: 46

Nationality: Irish

Race: Caucasian

Birthplace: Cork, Ireland

Sex: Cis male

Orientation: Heterosexual

Appearance: Beer belly, grey hair

Virtues: Cultured, confident

Vices: Creepy, talkative, misogynistic, cruel

Skills: Trade, throwing parties

Likes: Art, canapes

Weapons: Pair of holster pistols

Quirks: Compulsive liar.

Goals: To be accepted into high society

Background: Grail is the captain of the The Invicta, a trade ship. While he is good at trade and highly cultured, he is cruel and uncaring and has thrown crewmembers overboard for displeasing him, resulting in some of them becoming merfolk. He is on the lookout for a suitable wife, but is overconfident in his abilities and looks. He is desperate to rise above his station and become a part of high society, even if he has to buy his way in.

Inspiration: Zapp Brannigan (Futurama), Douglas Reynholm (The IT Crowd)

 

Bonnie Read

Queen of the Pirate faction.

Name meaning/origin: Scottish, ‘pretty’

Age: 59

Race: Caucasian

Nationality: Scottish

Sex: Cis female

Orientation: Bisexual

Appearance: Long red hair, green eyes, thin face, expensive clothes and weapons

Deity: Poseidon

Languages: English

Virtues: Courageous, intelligent, calculating

Vices: Selfish, greedy

Quirks: Abuser

Skills: Combat, democracy, recognising opportunities

Weapons: Sword, pistol, throwing stars

Likes: Money, fine things

Dislikes: Rich people

Favourite food: Booze

Hobby: Racing

Vessel: The Revenge, The Hangman

Pet: Plato the monkey

Background: Bonnie ran away from her family at an early age to become a Pirate. She was elected Queen after sinking an entire Empire fleet at once. She will do anything to make the Pirate faction stronger and richer, which often means doing highly immoral things.

Inspiration: Anne Bonny (historical figure), Akito Sohma (Fruits Basket)

 

Sir Dante Francis Ashburn

Privateer and commander of the Silver Lion

Name origin/meaning: Italian, author of The Divine Comedy

Age: 34

Race: Caucasian

Nationality: English

Birthplace: Somerset, England

Sex: Cis male

Orientation: Homosexual (closeted)

Appearance: Wispy blonde hair (under wig), blue eyes, fine military uniform.

Family: Debra Ashburn (wife), 4 children, Shirokani (former lover)

Friends: Richard Holburne

Languages: English

Virtues: Courageous, determined, hard working

Vices: Insensitive, possessive, controlling, hypocritical

Quirks: Hidden sexuality, abusive

Skills: Leadership, keeping secrets

Weapons: Musket

Likes: His children, opera

Dislikes: His wife, Undersea factions

Background: Dante is from a prominent military family allied with the Holburnes. As a younger officer, he was part of a fleet which bought slaves from Japan. He fell in love with one of these slaves, Shirokani, and had a secret relationship with him. When he was forced into marriage with Debra, both of them were devastated. Shiro asked Dante to run away with him to Undersea and become Pirates, but Dante said that it was beneath them and the marriage went ahead, even though it made both of them miserable.

Eventually Shiro became so depressed that he literally jumped overboard. Dante thought it was suicide but he was actually jumping to the Barracuda. He deeply regrets his actions and still secretly grieves for Shiro. On the outside, he is happily married with four young children.

Since then, he has been knighted and become a privateer (legal pirate). He still looks down upon actual Pirates, and Shiro is well aware of his hypocrisy, although he isn’t.

 

Notes: He believes Shiro is dead and is still in love with him. He still adores his children and they are the only thing that makes him happy, even though his career means he can’t see them often.

His love for Shiro comes mostly from his desire to control another

He and Debra would actually make a good couple if their sexualities matched up.

Inspiration: Sir Francis Drake (historical figure)

 

Lt. Thaddeus Judecca

Second in command of the Silver Lion and very briefly the Captain. Later becomes Kei’s second

Name origin/meaning: Biblical, ‘heart’

Age: 50 (born 1734)

Race: Caucasian

Nationality: English

Sex: Cis male

Orientation: Heterosexual

Religion: Christian

Deity: Jesus Christ

Family: Wife, 2 children (he hates them)

Appearance: Dark hair under wig, thick grey eyebrows

Virtues: Devout, opportunistic

Vices: Poor judge of character, ruthless, submissive,

Quirks: Racist, homophobic

Likes: Battle

Hates: Vices such as alcohol

Weapons: Military issue sword

Languages: English, Latin

Foil: Shu Kei, Dante Ashburn

Goal: To rise above Ashburn

Background: Like Ashburn, Judecca is from a wealthy and important family and gained a high position in the Navy. He is somewhat bitter that Ashburn was promoted over him, since he is older and more experienced but slightly lower in social status.

Inspiration: Captain Norrington (POTC)

Note: His surname is a reference to The Divine Comedy and the place in Hell where traitors to their masters are sent.

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Tales From Undersea Character Profiles. Part One – Heroes

01 Wednesday Sep 2021

Posted by in Blog, Bonus content, character profiles, pirate, steampunk, writing

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If you want to know more about the main characters of the Tales From Undersea series, here’s some juicy details (don’t worry, they’re spoiler free):

Alethea Hera

Real name: Priscilla Stephenson

Age: 36

Race: Caucasian

Nationality: British

Birthplace: Bath, UK

Sex: Cis female

Orientation: Bisexual

Appearance: Average build, strong, tall, long brown hair, grey eyes.

Virtues:  Brave, strong, capable.

Vices: Paranoid, stubborn

Skills: Leadership, planning, combat

Weapons: Four barrelled pistol, long sword. Occasionally uses a dagger

Likes: Pastries, ballet, Greek mythology

Dislikes: Opera, high society, parrots

Favourite item: Robert’s gun

Background: Alethea was born Priscilla Stephenson to a rich family in Bath, UK. As a girl she was incredibly shy and quiet. At age 16, her parents tried to find suitors for her, and rejected Robert Holburne because he ripped his pastry instead of cutting it. The two got along well and fell in love anyway, but their parents didn’t approve so they ran away together to the Undersea Kingdoms. They were happy but short on money so they joined Redscalp’s Pirate crew. After many adventures, they were betrayed by Louis who left them to be killed by a cipactli. Robert sacrificed himself to save her and died. She was rescued by the Barracuda. Kei convinced the captain to let her stay on the sub. Priscilla was distraught and deeply depressed over Robert’s death until she gave birth to their daughter, Marina. She changed her name to avoid detection from the authorities, who were after Redscalp’s crew. Becoming a strong warrior mother, she worked her way up the ranks until she became the Captain of the Barracuda, which she has been for five years now. Now she is beginning to tire of the dangers of the pirate life and wants to retire and build a safe and stable life for her daughter, but that will require one last mission…

Inspiration: Kyoko Honda (Fruits Basket), Thirrin Lindenshield (Icemark Chronicles), Aunt Josephine (ASOUE)

 

Marina Hera

Age: 17

Sex: Cis female

Orientation: Homosexual

Race: Caucasian

Birthplace: Barracuda

Appearance: Fair skin, cropped black curly hair, green eyes, skinny.

Virtues: Brave, intelligent

Vices: Impulsive, argumentative

Hobby: Reading

Skills: Swimming, combat, engineering, lockpicking

Weapons: Blanch percussion pistol, rapier

Background: Marina is the daughter of Alethea Hera (real name Priscilla Stevenson) and Robert Holburne, but was born after her father died. Her mother raised her on the Barracuda.  While Marina has been raised as a pirate and used to combat situations, it still worries her mother, which causes a lot of tension and fights between the two of them.

Inspiration: Jim Hawkins (Treasure Island), Princess Tiabeanie (Disenchantment), Terri Waters-Waters (Gayle)

 

Shu Kei

Sex: Cis female

Age: 39

Orientation: Bisexual

Race: South east Asian

Nationality: Cantonese

Appearance: Short stature, short greying hair. Brown eyes.

Languages: Cantonese, English

Virtues: Strong, kind, intelligent

Vices: Bossy, sarcastic, greedy

Hobby: Gambling

Skills: Organisation, keeping order, combat, lockpicking

Likes: Luxurious things, tea with honey

Hates: Men

Weapons: Four barrelled turn-over pistol, rapier, longsword

Duties: She takes charge of the sub whenever Alethea Hera isn’t there. Her duties include day to day management of the craft and seeing Alethea’s orders are carried out, dividing the plunder, discipline, controlling the food and water supplies, and deciding what to plunder from found vessels.

Inspirations: Anna Fang (Mortal Engines), Washimi (Aggretsuko),

Note: In Cantonese name order her name is ‘Shu Kei’ but in Western name order it is ‘Kei Shu’.

Background: Kei was a prostitute until she married a Pirate and had a son with him. They were successful until her husband abandoned her. She and her young son moved Undersea and joined the Barracuda, becoming friends with Priscilla Stephenson and even convincing the Captain at the time to let her and her new born baby stay on board, since she was also raising her own child on the sub. She rose up the ranks, becoming Priscilla (now Alethea’s) quartermaster.

Top Six Signs of Bad Writing and How to Avoid Them

17 Thursday Sep 2015

Posted by in Common Criticism, Editing, fantasy, indie, musings, self publishing, story, writing, writing advice

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I’ve been editing and reviewing books professionally for a few years now and I can now recognise within the first few pages whether a book is going to be good or not. This doesn’t always mean a book with spelling and grammar errors or unnecessarily long paragraphs. Those are all things that can be fixed during editing. But I do frequently review a book and know that not even the best editor could have made it good or successful. One of my Creative Writing tutors had a nice metaphor for this – You can polish a turd as much as you want but it won’t stop being a turd.

Take for example a book I edited last month for a successful businessman. The book was well structured, had a friendly and conversational tone, and the author clearly knew what he was talking about. I’ve even been using some of the business lessons in his book for my own business. But by the gods, could this man waffle on! Maybe that’s a common thing with business people. The other editors and I had to change almost every other sentence to make the book readable and I had to cut close to 4,000 words of unnecessary padding, sometimes whole paragraphs at a time. But I can still tell that despite the problems it had at the editing stage, the book will still sell well when it is published because of the most important part – the content. If a book has great content then all you need is some editing to polish it.

Sadly, many of the books I see are lacking that crucial element. It is sad when I can recognise the germ of a good idea that would’ve made a great book if it had been written correctly but the author either didn’t have the skills to pull it off or just didn’t care enough to try. Here are some of the most frequent red flags I see so that you can avoid them in your own books:

  1. Stories that go nowhere.

In the book I mentioned above, the author used many of his real life stories to back up his points, which were effective as they gave his book a more personal touch. The trouble with many inspirational memoirs I read is that the stories aren’t structured and any point they are trying to give is unclear. They go on, blend into each other, or just peter out completely.

Similarly, authors often just stop the story completely to go on a long off topic tangent about how they feel about something. These are often hard hitting portrayals of important real life issues, but they don’t belong in the book that the author is writing. If you want to make a point about these issues, then you have to do it in a way that doesn’t take the reader completely out of the story.

  1. Archetypical characters.

Christopher Vogler in his book The Writer’s Journey (a great writing book, by the way) listed the archetypical characters that make up almost every story; the hero, the herald, the wise old mentor, etc. But these are just the base that make up characters, they also need motivation, traits, backstory, and numerous other things to make up a whole person.

Unfortunately, many authors never go beyond the archetypical stage and just have their stories played out by characters who could be replaced by planks of wood. The women like to drink wine and bitch about their husbands. The men like to go down the pub and say sexist things about their wives. No variation in between, except for the nice, hunky guy who the woman is obviously supposed to have an affair with. Nobody wants to read a story if they aren’t invested in the characters and they won’t be invested unless the characters have something interesting and original about them.

  1. Standard plots.

Not only do bad authors use building block characters, they also use bog standard stories. It is true that all stories are essentially variations of the same basic plots; the quest, the love triangle, rags to riches, etc. But each author approaches these plots in a new way and tries to give it their own unique spin. For instance, the ‘overcoming the dark lord’ plot in Harry Potter is nothing new, but it works because of the engaging characters and unique setting. Lazy authors don’t bother with this and just stick to ‘good versus evil’ or ‘rescue the princess’ or one of the other stories you’ve heard a thousand times before.

  1. Magic power for every problem.

Another crucial detail missing from bad novels is peril. Even when we know that everything will work out fine in the end, we expect to be taken on a roller coaster ride of emotion until we get there and have our expectations questioned a few times along the way. Bad novelists overpower their main heroes and give them an automatic solution to every problem. A wizard always has the right spell or the warrior can defeat any foe. If the characters aren’t challenged even remotely then the novel is boring and there’s no point to reading it.

  1. Dialogue dumps.

This is how dialogue works in normal books:

“I just upgraded my Windows 98 computer to Windows 10.” Said Brad.

“But how?” Russ spluttered his chocolate milk. “Everyone knows that’s impossible.”

“I’m just that good.” Brad replied with a coy smile.

This is how dialogue works in a bad book:

I asked her ‘which boy are you going to pick? We have to solve this love triangle somehow’. She paced the floor and said ‘I don’t know. If only I could be with both of them at once. Is that weird?” And I said ‘No’ and then ‘But you have to pick soon because we have to save the world.’ That’s when the wolverines came.

Which one is easier to read?

  1. Mundane opening.

A novel’s opening is considered the most important part of the entire book and thus the part which the author should focus on the most, and there’s a good reason. Aside from the blurb, it is the first piece of the book that anyone will see, be it a reader or a publisher. A weak opening will make them put your book down and pick up the next one.

It is best not to open your book with something completely mundane – a character waking up and going about their morning routine, the drive home from work, or a lengthy description of the weather while the main character moans that ‘life just isn’t fair!’. These may seem like ideal ways to describe your character’s life, but readers don’t really care about what cereal they have for breakfast, they really want to get to the action.

 

If you have noticed any of these errors in your own writing, don’t despair just yet. You still have time to fix them and improve your craft before you publish your story. Don’t try to put your book out until you have ironed out these issues, otherwise what could have potentially been a great book will fade into obscurity.

How to keep your character’s inventory

01 Tuesday Sep 2015

Posted by in fantasy, musings, story, writing, writing advice

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DSCF3685

How often has this happened in a book you’re reading: A character has encountered a deadly creature. They can’t run because the creature is too fast. They try ducking out of the way but they can’t do that forever. They throw stones but that just enrages the beast even more. Just when all seems hopeless, they pull out a sword from their belt and…Wait, since when did that character have a sword? That was never mentioned before!

Even worse is when the character is in the middle of a fight, and you, the reader, know they have some kind of weapon or object that would flatten the enemy in a second. But the fight scene just goes on and on but it never appears. You spend the entire scene screaming at the book ‘Just use it, you idiot!’ but they never do. Either the battle is won by random chance or an ally is killed in the process.

You can avoid this in your own writing by keeping an inventory of everything that your character has with them on their journey, like the inventory screen in a videogame, and a record of when they pick things up and when they leave things behind. If you don’t then it is easy to make errors like the ones I mentioned above and your readers will notice.

The way I keep my character’s inventories is fairly simple. I make a document and mark out every chapter when the characters are on their journey. I list the things that each character has when their journey starts and in which chapters they lose or acquire new things. I also consider what bags they have and how much they can carry at any one time. If a character left home with only the clothes on their back then they won’t be able to fit much in their pockets. If they have a horse with them then they can load up on much more. It’s as simple as that. I always have a reference to check when I’m writing. If you’re more of a visual thinker then you could make a collage or vision board of your characters inventory instead. Experiment a little and find what works best for you.

Much of the time, the acquisition or using up of equipment will happen off page. You’re not going to describe every time your characters go to the marketplace or stop for a snack. That would make for a very boring novel. If you keep a timeline of how much time passes within and between each chapter of your novel then you can use this with your inventory document to list what things were used up or bought during these intervals.

Be careful that you don’t fall victim to the videogame logic which says you can carry dozens of everything in your bags. It may work in Pokemon but it doesn’t work in reality, or indeed in a novel. Don’t have your characters do what they do in games either and pick up every useless thing they find in the hopes that it might be useful later or be sold for pennies at the next shop. Do you pick up every twig and mushroom when you go for a walk in the forest?

'Now what did I do with that plot essential item?'

‘Now what did I do with that plot essential item?’

Then again, maybe this does fit some characters personalities. The items your character carries can also be used to say something about them. If you want to show that a character is fussy and overly organised then describe them carrying a huge bag containing everything they could ever need, but probably won’t. If you want a character to be scatter-brained or ill-prepared for their adventure, show them carrying useless items or forgetting the essentials for their quest. Do any of your characters carry or wear items purely for sentimental reasons? (E.g. Katniss’ Mockingjay pin in The Hunger Games which becomes very important later on.)

Finally, don’t forget to also keep track of the amount of money in your character’s purse. You keep a close eye on how much money you have in real life, don’t you? If your character lives in a society that uses bartering instead of currency, how will that affect what they carry?

It’s something that is often overlooked, but these few simple tricks can help you avoid embarrassing errors in your novel, make the writing easier for yourself, and help you to visualise your novel and engage with its world and characters.

How not to write an e-book.

04 Wednesday Feb 2015

Posted by in Editing, indie, story, writing

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I’ve been working with self published authors for a few years now and I can honestly say it’s the best job in the world. There’s nothing better than reading a great manuscript, helping to make it the best it can possibly be and watching the writer succeed.

I love that self publishing has allowed more authors than ever before to get their work out there without the rejection letters diminishing their confidence. But the downside is that it has opened the floodgates for every hack author to put their book out and hope it will mean instant overnight success. If you’re really serious about being a self published author, then these are the sins you want to avoid:

  1. Ask a friend to be your editor.

Asking a friend who got a C in GCSE English to edit your entire manuscript in exchange for a few beers isn’t a very fair exchange. Even a basic edit of a book takes time so it’s a pretty big favour to ask someone to do for free, meaning they’ll probably just half arse it and hope you won’t notice. If you want to sell any books, it’s worth the expense to hire an editor. If you really don’t have the money, at least ask a fellow writer to help you and maybe offer to edit their manuscript in exchange.

  1. Replace the plot with pages of dialogue.

Few writing sins will give you away as an amateur more than this one. I can’t tell you the number of terrible novels I’ve come across where the plot comes to a screeching halt for the characters to bitch at each other like they’re in a soap opera. Bad novelists constantly alternate between this and my next point.

  1. Describe every little detail.

When the characters aren’t arguing, they ditch the dialogue completely and describe every moment of the drive home from work and every random thought about cheating on their husband that pops into their heads. It drags the story down and makes it a chore to read. If this happens in your novel, then take out the red editing pen and cut mercilessly and brutally.

  1. Don’t bother with drafts.

You wouldn’t study for an exam by briefly looking over the notes you took in class and you would think writers wouldn’t put their books up for sale without writing a second, third or even fourth draft to eradicate any errors. It takes time and effort but the end result is a great book that will sell. Perhaps more importantly, the process will help you become a better writer.

  1. Ignore the craft of writing.

I think that the reason some writers do these things is because they don’t really care about being writers, or have a very warped idea of what being a writer actually entails. If you want to write a book, even as a hobby, you have to study and practice the craft of writing, just as you would for any other skill. This means reading as much as you can, joining a writer’s group, reading magazines and blogs about writing. The list goes on.

  1. Write a book just for fame and fortune.

This is the worst and sadly most common reason I see for people putting out terrible novels. They read rags to riches stories about people selling record number of e-books and think it’s an easy way to make money. Unfortunately, these success stories are rare and usually don’t mention the hundreds of hours and several failed books that came before the success.

Of course I believe that authors should do whatever they can to make money from their writing. At heart all of us just want to make a living doing what we really love and we should pursue that as much as possible. But there’s a difference from making money by doing what you truly love and pushing a book onto the market as if it’s any other product to be sold.

You only need to look at a few statistics to see how hard it is to make decent money from a book, which is why the truly successful, talented and happy writers do it as a labour of love, because frankly that’s the only reason you can do it.

 

These are just a few of the mistakes I’ve seen from the thankfully small number of hack writers I’ve worked with. If you’re reading this blog then that means you obviously care enough about writing to read about it and actually learn how to write a book.

But as all good authors know, writing the book is just half the battle. Next time I’ll tell you how not to market an e-book.