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Wood the Writer

~ Author of Tales From Undersea

Wood the Writer

Category Archives: writing

Four Reasons Why I Write for Mental Health

03 Wednesday Mar 2021

Posted by Jessica Wood in author, Blog, mental health, self publishing, writing

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author, mental health, self publishing, writer, writing, writing therapy

There are many reasons to write: Money, pleasure, revenge, or preferably all three. On top of these, one of the reasons I write is for the sake of my mental health.

I started the first book in what would turn into the Tales from Undersea series in 2017, about a year after I went through a period of severe depression. I won’t go into the details, but I’m a British immigrant living in an EU country, so you can probably figure out what caused it.

At the time I was working on a novel I’d been writing on-and-off since university. I liked it and enjoyed writing it at the time, but I was becoming increasingly aware that it was full of cliches and probably wasn’t going to be well received if it was published. It also focused mainly on a revolution plot, which was a little too much for me, considering where my mental health was at the time.

But then I got the idea for a submarine pirate adventure book which I started once my mental health had improved to the point that I could write again. Not only was this book exciting, it was funny. It gave me something to be passionate about again. These are some more ways it has helped me:

  1. Stable routine

I admit I’m still somewhat of a night owl and an insomniac, which makes it difficult to get up in the morning. But getting up mid-morning, writing, and working on marketing and publishing activities in the afternoon is a much better routine than getting up at 2pm when the sun is already beginning to set, lazing about in my Moomin pyjamas for a few hours, then deciding it’s too late in the day to begin anything and eating an entire tube of Pringles. Getting up somewhat earlier has also allowed me to get in some morning exercise to get direct sunlight on my face and prevent winter depression.

2. Celebrating small miracles

My book still only gets miniscule sales. Yet whenever I make a big achievement like finishing a draft or making a sale, I get a hit of dopamine (the happiness chemical in the brain). Even small things like getting a new subscriber to my newsletter or a comment from someone on Instagram saying they like my book’s cover gives me a small hit. Long periods of barely any sales can be depressing, so I wouldn’t recommend a self-publishing career to those who can’t handle that level of rejection. Yet to me, that only makes it better whenever I do get a single sale or review.

3. Dealing with things I don’t want to face

A lot of people assume the things authors put in their books reflect their subconscious desires. If that’s true, authors must be the most terrifying creatures in the world. While a lot of my writing is self-indulgent (it’s fun to imagine myself as a badass pirate captain), I mostly use it as a way to explore things I don’t want to go through in real life. I can live out the fantasy of being a mother, fighting in a war, or falling in love with someone else then come safely back to my own life.

4. Getting outside my own head

This is perhaps the best thing that writing can do for your mental health. While I’m more-or-less recovered from my episode now, I still have moments where I feel overwhelming anxious, angry, or depressed. When I’m writing, it forces me to focus on the task at hand rather than any of these negative emotions. I can’t be thinking about how much I want to hurt myself if I’m trying to figure out how my characters are going to escape from the monster or what the best synonym is for ‘roar’.

 

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Four things I learnt from writing and publishing my first book

18 Thursday Feb 2021

Posted by Jessica Wood in author, Blog, book launch, books, Editing, indie, self publishing, story, writing

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creative writing, self published author, self publishing, writing

As proud as I am for not only completing but self-publishing my first novel, it soon became apparent that there were a lot of things I did wrong, and a lot of things I can learn from. These are just a few which I’ll be applying for my future books, and which may be beneficial to other authors:

Abandoning ideas can be a good thing

People always tell you ‘don’t give up’ and ‘always finish a book’. There is some good sentiment in these statements, but I think it’s more important to recognise when you should give up or abandon a project which isn’t working.

For me, I spent years working a novel which I was proud of at the time, but looking back it contained every YA book cliché. Rebellious princess? Revolution? Non-human and borderline creepy love interest? Yep, it had them all.

When I first came up with the idea which would turn into the Undersea series, I was reluctant to give up on the book. But after much reflection, I realised that letting it go to work on this new project was the right move. While there are still some things with this new series, I’m not happy with in hindsight, reception has been much more positive, so I’m glad I didn’t release that cliched book as my debut release.

Plan from the beginning

While I decided early on that I wanted this series to be a trilogy (with the possibility of further books in the future), I didn’t plan out each book in the trilogy until I started the first draft. This has held me back as I’ve wound up with dozens of different characters and sub plots to juggle and resolve cleanly in the final book. Many character arcs have gone a different direction than I intended and some foreshadowing in the first (now published) book I’m now wishing I had cut out. If I write another series with ongoing continuity, I’ll do much more planning from the start so I don’t end up writing myself into a wall.

The final draft is never the final draft

You would think that once the final draft is done, it’s over, right? Oh, how wrong I was! There are still edits, proofs, print copies, copies in different formats. These are all the files in my ‘final version’ folder:

And that’s for just one book.

No matter how low your expectations, you’ll still be disappointed

This one is going to be difficult for other authors to swallow, but is precisely why we need a thick skin. I knew that as a debut author with virtually no platform, my sales were going to be low at first. But I thought I might get at least a few on release day. Maybe a few people would read my blog or see my social media posts.

I opened my Amazon account the next morning and… nothing. My first sale didn’t come in for a few days, and that was me buying a copy of my own book to check it for errors.

Part of it, I have now learnt, was that it takes a few days for Amazon’s system to pick up a book, add the ‘look inside’ feature, and start including it in search algorithms. This is why next time I’ll go for a ‘soft launch’ to give Amazon a few days to register the book before I start promoting it. I’ll also focus more on looking for ARC reviewers to look at the book on release (contact me if you want to join my ARC team, btw).

Sales have picked up a tiny bit thanks to some promotions, but are still nothing most days. But I’m not discouraged. This is just part of the process. I’m going to keep writing whether I ‘succeed’ or not, so it really doesn’t matter.

 

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It’s not me, it’s my characters!

14 Sunday Feb 2021

Posted by Jessica Wood in Blog, musings, romance, sale, self publishing, story, writing

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books sale, ebook sale, romance, writing

You’ve probably heard a lot of authors say that the characters take charge of the plot and hijack the story. Some even claim that they don’t intend for their characters to fall in love but they do it on their own.

It happens to me far too often. I don’t intend yet another romantic subplot on top of all the others I have already. But the characters go and fall in love anyway, then the romance becomes a major part of the story. With the Undersea series, I always intended for romance to be a major part of the story and to have a diverse range of relationships (straight, gay, interracial, mermaids, and so forth). But two secondary characters called Rico and Shiro seemed to fall in love entirely on their own. The more I wrote them, the more I realised they would need their own subplot in the second and third novels. It’s ended up becoming one of my favourite parts of the story to write and a major part of the plot. I’ve even come up with new spin-off books for these couples.

Most likely it’s just my subconscious realising that those characters are a good fit for one another, have good chemistry, or the subplot would benefit the story. But sometimes it does feel as if the characters really have become the masters of their own narrative.

Sale for UK readers

In keeping with the Valentine’s theme, Traitor’s Revenge will be on sale for only 99p during Valentine’s weekend in the Amazon UK store. My last sale was only applicable for the US store, so I didn’t want any UK readers to miss out.

For more deals and ‘behind the scenes’ writing notes, join the Undersea newsletter.

Traitor’s Revenge is out now in paperback

03 Sunday Jan 2021

Posted by Jessica Wood in author, Blog, book launch, pirate, self publishing, steampunk, story, writing

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book, book release, paperback, paperback release, steampunk, steampunk book, steampunk fiction, ya, ya literature, young adult literature

I hope that everybody had a fun and safe Christmas and New Year and that you’re now getting back into the swing of work. Or maybe you’re still working through those Christmas sweets!

Traitor’s Revenge, the first Tale From Undersea, is now out in both ebook and paperback format from Amazon. Formatting and putting together the physical book myself was a real headache, so I’m especially proud now that it’s done. I know that the international mail service still has a lot of restrictions and delays (I still haven’t received all of my Christmas presents!) so I hope they will be resolved soon. I will also be doing a ‘wide’ release on other websites soon.

I’m also hard at work on the next few books in the series. I even started working on an additional novella during my Christmas break, when I was supposed to be resting!

Here’s hoping that 2021 will be kinder to all of us!

Get your paperback copy of Traitor’s Revenge from Amazon.

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Traitor’s Revenge is out now

08 Tuesday Dec 2020

Posted by Jessica Wood in author, Blog, book launch, indie, self publishing, steampunk, story, writing

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book launch, creative writing, debut author, debut book, steampunk, steampunk book, steampunk fiction, writing, ya, ya fiction, ya literature

After three years of work, my debut novel and first book in the Tales From Undersea, Traitor’s Revenge, is out now on Amazon!

US store

UK store

I know I said it in the book’s acknowledgements, but thanks again to everyone who helped with the book and supported me over the years. I hope to put out many more books in this series!

I’ll be launching the paperback at a later date, as well as publishing the book on other platforms.

Sign up to the Undersea newsletter for new releases, special offers, and exclusive free shorts.

Tales From Undersea: Traitor’s Revenge – Preview

17 Tuesday Nov 2020

Posted by Jessica Wood in author, Blog, book exerpt, indie, self publishing, steampunk, story, writing

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book excerpt, book preview, book promotion, creative writing, steampunk, writing, ya, young adult, young adult literature

“I won’t mind getting away from those sailor superstitions. I’ll be glad when we can retire and I can finally get my own place on dry land. Free of otters,” Rico said.

“He’s just a baby, he can’t help it,” Shiro retorted, cradling Kappa.

“I can’t sleep at night from that thing screeching.”

“You’re never on time for your shift, anyway.”

“The only cries I should be hearing at night are from whoever I’m-”

“Not in front of the baby!” Shiro yelped, covering Kappa’s ears.

Rico forced his hands away, leant closer to the snuffling otter, and loudly said, “I was just saying to your master that I want to hear-”

“If you traumatise my baby again, I won’t bother patching the cracks above your bed the next time there’s a leak,” Shiro said, pulling Kappa away.

“Just another reason why I need my own place,” Rico said, retreating to the corner to polish his pistol. “I’ve never had a house of my own before,” he added with a dreamy glint in his eye.

“Me neither. It will make a nice change,” Shiro said, staring wistfully at nothing in particular as Kappa chewed on his sleeve.

“You two won’t miss our adventures?” Marina asked, finally putting her book down. It was impossible to concentrate on reading with those two quarrelling, anyway.

“Maybe a little,” Rico said, pausing his polishing for a second to stare at the wall. “We have had some good times on this old clunker.” He knocked the metallic wall, listening to it echo and ripple throughout the entire room.

“Like the time we ran into that dragonturtle,” Thandi said with a grin.

“Or when we found that floating island full of hidden rum barrels,” Warwick added.

“Or the time I fought a narwhal with my bare hands!” Vernon said.

“That never happened!” Julius laughed.

“It did too. I’m putting it in my book,” Vernon said, tapping his quill against the pages of his manuscript.

“But…but retirement will be good too,” Rico said, polishing his gun harder.

“Yes, it will be nice to focus on writing,” Vernon added as he fiddled with his quill.

“Good for you,” Marina grumbled. “I’m only sixteen and my mum is already making me retire.”

“What’s so bad about that? I wish I could have retired when I was sixteen,” Warwick guffawed. “Could’ve saved myself a lot of bother.”

“She’s only doing it because she loves you, Marina. You know that. She wants you to have a better life than all of us have had,” Kei said.

“I’m happy with my life already. What are you going to do with your share, anyway?” Marina asked, looking straight at Kei.

“Well, I won’t have to put up with you lot anymore, for one thing,” Kei said, returning her a tight-lipped smile.

“As if you could go without us for more than two seconds.”

A metallic ringing brought their talk to an abrupt halt and made each of them freeze. The alarm. An approaching enemy. Their card games and books were quickly abandoned as each of them hurried out the door, scattering to their stations.

 

Coming to Amazon December 6th!

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Writing update – 16/9/2020

16 Wednesday Sep 2020

Posted by Jessica Wood in author, Blog, Editing, self publishing, story, writing, writing update

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creative writing, wip, work in progress, writing

I have a projected release date for my first self-published novel – November 3rd 2020. I picked this date because it’s my birthday.

I did send the novel off to some contests but wasn’t shortlisted for any of them. I had also planned to submit it to some publishing houses but decided against it because

  1. Due to the Corona virus outbreak, many small publishing houses which would have taken a niche book like mine have unfortunately closed down.
  2. The publishing houses which are still in business have been overwhelmed putting out their delayed books and dealing with a bigger slush pile (although I do think it’s a good thing that more people have been writing during quarantine).
  3. I just really hate writing synopsis.

I had been planning on self-publishing for a while, anyway, and this also means the book will be out sooner. I know that sales will be slow at first, but it’s still the first steps to becoming a career author, not a hobbyist or part timer.

Progress on the second book in the soon-to-be-published series is also going well. I’m on the developmental edit stage right now, which is taking a while, but once that’s done it will be ready to send to beta readers. My goal right now is to have this second book published by Midsummer next year and the third by New Year’s Eve 2021, so that I can gradually increase the number of books I publish each year and become accustomed to the publishing cycle. But at the rate I’m going, I might be beating those deadlines by several months.

Until then, you can read an excerpt of the novel here.

Tales From Undersea – Traitor’s Revenge (excerpt)

04 Monday May 2020

Posted by Jessica Wood in author, Blog, book exerpt, self publishing, steampunk, story, villain, writing

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book, book excerpt, book sample, creative writing, lit, oceanpunk, pirates, seapunk, steampunk, story, vikings, writing

“Move aside. I’ll take her,” a new Viking joined the fight, the others parting to let him pass. Judging by his age, the quality of the axe in his hand, and the commanding tone of his voice, Alethea guessed that this was the Viking Chieftain.

A roar from Iku-turso interrupted their fight. Each of them instinctively covered their ears, forgetting that they were all wearing diving helmets.

“Chief,” one of the Vikings said over the sound. He was a tall Polynesian man with ink black skin and long hair which flowed in the water. His Viking attire was decorated with patterns and symbols of the Polynesian islands and a shark toothed club hung from his holster. The man looked as if he could punch through walls and kill an elephant with a single fist.

“Not now, Inoki,” the Chieftain said, not looking at him as he swam closer to Alethea, who gripped her own sword tighter. She considered how quickly she could draw her gun from her holster and fire, or how quickly she could draw Robert’s gun from its hidden pouch if she needed to.

“Chief, it’s about to rip the Fenrir apart. We need to leave now,” Inoki said, placing a large hand on the Chief’s shoulder.

Alethea risked a glance to see that the creature, blood pouring from its cut tentacle, close to tearing off the Fenrir’s hull. Glances between the Vikings told them that they would have to leave, without the stone.

“Damn you pirate arseholes. Think you rule the entire ocean,” one of the more particularly violent Vikings said, throwing his axe to the ground in frustration. It took him a moment to remember that he was underwater and desperately grabbed it again before it floated to the surface.

The Chieftain said nothing. He kicked himself off his crewmate to cross the distance to Alethea. She barely raised her sword in time to clash against his axe.

“I hope you don’t think Redscalp’s treasure is yours to take, Barracuda,” he growled.

There was something in his voice which shook Alethea. Something which bothered her even more than the axe in his hand or the monster roaring close by.

“Who are you?” she asked without knowing why.

With a motion so swift it made her gasp, he grabbed her arm and pulled her closer. She could see his face clearly through his helmet. She could see his greying red hair streaked across his forehead and his dark brown eyes, looking straight into hers as if he were inspecting her. Even in the cold Nordic sea, her blood seemed to boil.

“I already told you, I’m Petturi Konna. And I am the rightful heir to Redscalp’s treasure. It’s what I’m owed.”

 

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The Venus King Mysteries – The Mystery of the Plastic Bag. Chapter One.

17 Friday Apr 2020

Posted by Jessica Wood in Blog, story, writing

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comedy writing, creative writing, mystery, satire, writing

“Have you tried the mortgage advisory board?” Jude droned from behind the desk, occasionally glancing out the window at the sunshine beating down on the streets and the ice cream van rolling past with its tinny music blaring.

“I already tried,” Venus replied, rocking in the chair on the opposite side of the desk. “They fired me after I accused the manager of being an imposter and I pulled on his moustache.”

“What about driving lorries?”

“I suppose being on the road would be useful,” Venus said, rubbing her chin. “But no, it would be bad if a mystery were to occur and I was out of town.”

“Are there any jobs that you’re interested in?” Jude sighed, sinking even deeper into the chair which had become far too accustomed to the shape of her body. “Or any places in town which haven’t fired you yet?”

“It’s not my fault I keep on getting fired! I just can’t concentrate on the job when there’s a mystery to solve,” Venus said, taking her pipe out of her pocket and sucked on the mouthpiece, trying to look thoughtful and distant.

“You can’t smoke in here.”

“It’s alright; it’s made of liquorice,” Venus said, taking a bite to demonstrate. The taste made her gag a little, but it looked cool, which was the most important thing.

“If you don’t try and concentrate, you’ll never be able to hold down a job,” Jude said, holding her hands behind her head.

“It’s not that I don’t want a job,” Venus said, “it’s just that all the ones I do get aren’t… parallel to my interests.”

“And what are your interests?” Jude asked.

“I wish to solve the greatest mysteries which plague the town of Shuffleforth!” Venus said, leaping onto the desk, sending several papers flying and drawing stares from the other people around her. “Be they supernatural or the work of mankind, I, Venus King, will solve them all!”

“Except you need to be a qualified detective to solve crimes,” Jude said, pulling her most important papers away before Venus could leave boot prints on them. “And the supernatural… That’s not even a real job. I don’t have any listings for ‘supernatural detective’ in my database.”

“But that’s what I want to do with my life,” Venus said, finally jumping down from the desk and settling back into her seat. “I think that’s the only thing I could be really good at.”

“Have you ever solved any actual mysteries?” Jude asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well… I found out who was stealing all the newspapers from our street,” Venus answered, her eyes shifting slightly. “Turns out the paperboy was too lazy to deliver them all and was dumping them in the hedges behind the allotments. But isn’t there anything on that database? Anything at all?”

Jude sighed once more and took another long look through the list of jobs on her screen.

“How about this – Quidrealm. You know, the pound shop? They’ve been asking me to send them someone. And there was that girl who-”

“Yes, Madison Wilkinson. The plastic bag. I read all about it,” Venus said, sucking on her candy pipe again.

A few weeks ago, the police had found the body of a young woman named Madison Wilkinson hanging from a telephone post just outside of town. That was strange enough, but what nobody could figure out why she’d been holding a Quidrealm bag. It had been brand new, yet empty. Venus had tried her best to help the investigation, but they had pushed her away as they always did, saying something about how she ‘wasn’t qualified’ and ‘only got in the way’. Eventually the police had put it down to suicide and closed the case. But they’d never explained the plastic bag. It had been bothering Venus ever since.

“I’ll take the case!” Venus said, standing up triumphantly.

“It’s not a case; it’s a job,” Jude said. “But at least we finally found you one. Please try to keep this one for at least a few months.”

“Oh, don’t you worry,” Venus said, “I’ll give this case all the time it needs.”

She marched out of the job centre without so much as a thank you or a goodbye. Not that Jude minded. She was just glad that the girl was out of her hair. For a few days, at least. Until she lost her job again and wound up right back here.

Venus began scanning the manager’s office the moment she entered, searching for clues. The manager hadn’t seemed to notice during the interview, which Venus had aced thanks to her ‘extensive experience’ in retail. She just left out the fact that none of those jobs had lasted longer than six months.

“Well, you have enough experience. And we need somebody right away,” Kerri, the manager, said. “I’ve been short staffed the last few weeks since somebody left unexpectedly. And most of the ones the job centre send don’t last long.”

“Well, that’s not going to happen with me,” Venus said, hoping that her eyes weren’t shifting too much.

“That’s good to hear. Stick around here for long enough and you’ll go far here at Quidrealm. In five years’ time, you could be where I am right now,” Kerri said. Venus smiled and swallowed a lump in her throat, severely hoping that it wouldn’t happen.

Of course it wouldn’t, she told herself. She was a detective. A sleuth. An investigator of both the paranormal and more-or-less normal. That was her calling and her purpose in life. She wasn’t going to be stuck here.

She was taken to a back room and given a scratchy shirt and a badge which said ‘Xander’.

“We don’t have any Venuses,” Kerri said as she rifled through the box of badges, sporting the names of employees who had already left Quidrealm behind. A surprisingly large amount for a store which had only been open for seven years, Venus noticed. “You’ll have to wear this until we can get a new one.”

“Not a problem,” Venus said as she attached ‘Xander’ to her chest. The name on her badge didn’t matter much, anyway.

“You’ll have to do something about your hair,” Kerri said as she took her in with an upturned nose.

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Venus asked as she gripped one of the curls she’d been up half the night styling just for this interview. She took pride in her blonde locks and the Victorian style curls which were so important to her aesthetic.

“You have to wear it up.”

“Oh, of course,” Venus said, finding an old rubber band in her pocket left over from a previous failed retail job. “Because of the fresh fruit and vegetables.”

“We don’t sell those.”

“Then why-”

“Store policy,” Kerri answered. Her gaze remained fixed on Venus, still unsatisfied. “Don’t you have any proper shoes?”

“These… aren’t proper shoes?” Venus asked as she lifted one of her brown loafers, freshly polished.

“Uniform rules are black shoes only.”

“But aren’t I going to be behind the counter? Nobody will even see my shoes.”

“Wear black shoes from tomorrow,” Kerri answered, not waiting for any reply as she led Venus out the door.

So far so good, she thought. Despite her apparently inappropriate and highly illegal shoes. She’d passed the first trial and gotten through the gate. Now all she needed to do was find some more information.

“I heard about that girl who was found mur… dead with a Quidrealm bag in her hand,” Venus said as she followed Kerri through the back rooms.

“Yes,” Kerri said as she opened the door to the shop floor. It was mostly empty except for a small child pulling things out of their packages and leaving them on the floor. Neither Kerri or the child’s mother seemed to notice or remotely care. “That was terrible publicity for us. Sales went down two percent the week afterwards.”

“So how exactly did she come to have that bag in her hand?” Venus asked, reaching for the notebook and pen she always kept in her pocket. “Do you know what was in it?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kerri said sharply as they reached the cash registers. “You know how to use an electronic register, I assume?”

“Oh yes, I’ve used lots,” Venus said. She was about to launch into several more questions about Madison’s death but Kerri spoke first.

“Lavender here will show you what to do. If you need me, I’ll be in the office,” she said before walking abruptly back the way she’d come.

“Hi, I’m Lavender!” the woman behind the counter said. Taking a single look at her, it was clear the name suited her. She bore lavender eyeshadow, lavender lipstick, and bore a scent of cheap lavender perfume which made Venus cough a little. Her smile was impossibly large and she wore her tacky uniform as if she’d been born in it.

“Venus,” she introduced herself with a handshake. No lavender nail polish, she noticed with surprise. That must have been a store policy, too.

“Welcome to the Quidrealm family!”

“Family?”

“Yes, we’re all a family here. Just think of me as your mum.”

Venus didn’t want to tell her that she already had a mum, even one who didn’t support her sleuthing dreams and questioned why she couldn’t find a ‘nice normal’ job and move out. But she didn’t have time to argue back before Lavender was tugging her behind the register which was to be hers.

“Alright, let’s get you all set up and then you’ll be ready to serve the customers!” Lavender said as if they were preparing to put on a parade. She grinned through Lavender’s demonstration of how the electronic register worked – which Venus already knew – and the process of serving customers – which she was more than familiar with – then had her stand and watch as she served a few customers.

“Now you’re ready to serve customers of your own,” she said as if she’d just graduated from astronaut training and was about to go on the first mission to Mars.

It wasn’t that much different than any other retail job she’d ever worked. The customer didn’t have their money ready even after waiting in line for ten minutes, answered several phone calls, and left without so much of a ‘thank you’ with their single pack of gum. He did take the time to call her ‘Xander’ in a highly mocking tone, though.

“Easy,” Venus said with a smile.

“Oh dear, Venus. You forgot the most important thing of all,” Lavender said with a slightly flattened smile which might have been her equivalent of a frown.

“What?” Venus asked. “I smiled, I said ‘thank you’ and ‘have a nice day’. I even checked his ID for the energy drink he didn’t buy.”

“But you forgot all about the upselling,” Lavender said, sweeping a hand over the box of candy hotdogs next to the counter. “You must ask every customer who comes to your counter if they want any Sweetdogs today.”

“Why exactly?”

“So Quidrealm can earn more money, silly!”

“What happens if we don’t try to upsell these?”

“Then you don’t get a ranking on the leaderboard.”

“What happens if you’re at the top of the leaderboard?”

“It means you upsold the most for the week.”

“I know what it means, but what do you get? What’s the reward?”

“You get to be at the top of the leaderboard!”

Venus wanted to say more, but had a feeling that there wasn’t anything more to add. So, she turned to the next customer who had now arrived at her counter, and put on a practised fake smile.

“Welcome to Quidrealm!” she said as she reached into the customer’s basket.

“What do you mean ‘welcome’? I’ve been here for half an hour already,” the customer said, a large middle-aged woman with a face like a storm.

“I… sorry…” Venus said, trying to scan and bag her collection of discounted Easter chocolate, emoji pillows, and crisps which tasted like sandpaper. Finally bagging the last item, she caught Lavender’s enthusiastic smile and nod in the corner of her vision before she turned to the customer and asked. “Would you like any Sweetdogs today?”

“What?” the woman said, looking up from her smartphone as if she’d only just realised that Venus was there.

“Uh… Sweetdogs?” Venus asked, tapping the smiley hotdog on the back of the display box. How a candy hotdog could smile when it knew it was about to be eaten didn’t make sense to Venus, but then again she was a sleuth and not a marketing executive.

“Are they free?”

“Uh… no. They’re £1. Just like everything in the shop.”

“Why you asking me then?” the customer growled.

So much for upselling, Venus thought as she finished the transaction.

“That’s £33.10,” she read.

“What?” the customer said as if Venus had just insulted her entire family. “Why is it so expensive? I thought everything was a quid.”

“Well… you bought all the Easter chocolate and 14 bags of crisps,” Venus said. “And the plastic bags are 10p each.”

“10p for a plastic bag?”

“Yes. Plastic bags have cost that much for a while now. It’s because they’re not bio-degradable, so we want to encourage people not to use-”

“Fine, whatever!” the customer said, slamming her debit card in front of Venus, nearly denting the countertop.

“It’s contactless, madam,” Venus said, pointing to the card machine with a shaking hand.

“Well how the hell was I supposed to know that?” the customer grumbled as she made a big show of holding her card against the machine in the right direction. When it beeped and Venus’ screen recorded that the transaction had gone through, she breathed a sigh of relief. She was even more thankful when she heard the buzz of the printer spitting out the receipt and the customer picked up her heaving bags.

“Your receipt,” Venus said, handing the long stirp of paper to the customer.

“I don’t need that!” the customer said. “I thought you said you didn’t want to waste paper.”

Before Venus could say anything else, she left the store still muttering to herself. Venus turned to Lavender, who smiled back at her.

“I’m sure the next time will be better,” she said.

 

I’ve wanted to write a mystery story ever since watching A Series of Unfortunate Events, and this is a plot I thought of whilst I was bored at my previous retail job.

I was taking a break between the first and second drafts of a different novel and felt like writing something fun and lighthearted, and this is the result. I’d like to finish and publish it eventually, but until then I thought I’d post it here to see if anybody would like it. Let me know in the comments what you think and if you’d like to read more. Or sign up to my mailing list for updates.

Why Your Stories Should be Fun

23 Tuesday Apr 2019

Posted by Jessica Wood in author, Blog, Common Criticism, criticism, story, writing, writing advice

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creative writing, lit, writers, writing, writing advice, writing tips

If you’ve ever heard or read stories written for a creative writing workshop, or judged a writing contest, you’ll likely have seen a similarity amongst almost all of them – They all tend to be dark, gloomy, and depressing. This is because many people who are just starting out as writers have an idea that for writing to be good, it has to be serious and at least give the illusion of being deep. Or at least, they think that this is the only type of writing which will get them recognition from writing teachers and contest judges. And considering the amount of MFA teachers and literary contest judges which support this way of thinking, they’re not wrong.

Even professionals seem to be believing this to some extent, given the huge increase in the amount of ‘dark and gritty’ tv shows, movies, and books which have come out ever since Game of Thrones became the most popular show on television.

I believed the same thing for a long time during my early writing days. My first novel was a YA fantasy story, yet it was still about as angst-ridden as they come. A lot of it was a reaction to a bad period of my life, and expressing it creatively did help me a lot at the time. Yet once I ditched the angsty novel and started writing one with a more light-hearted and comedic bent, I started to enjoy writing much more. It’s also been surprisingly beneficial to my mental health as well.

When should stories be dark?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not immedietly turned off by a story just because it’s dark or has a sad ending. I just finished binge-watching You which is insanely creepy and has a sad ending, yet it has still made me want to read the book it was adapted from. The essence of drama does come from characters suffering, after all. Authors who have been through bad situations, or have relatives or ancestors who have, often need to record their experiences in the form of fiction as a form of both personal therapy and preservation.

What I’m trying to get at is that while these stories may be good, they may be popular, and they may win awards, it doesn’t mean that every single story needs to be the same, as so many Hollywood producers seem to assume. Just because a story can be dark, that doesn’t mean it has to be.

Game of Thrones works as a dark story because intended it as a subversion of the noble-bright nature of classic fantasy stories such as Lord of the Rings. You works as a dark story because it is a reflection of the far too prevalent real world phenomenon of women being stalked and harassed by ‘nice guys’.

There are certain types of stories which should deal with serious issues, and other types which should exist simply to cheer up audiences. When you come home from a tough day at work, you are much more likely to turn on a light-hearted comedy than a gritty realistic drama, because in that situation, you need the comedy. In many ways, this makes a story more memorable and more likely that the viewer will want to watch more, or re-watch the show.

Fiction is primarily a form of escapism, both for audiences and authors. So, they absolutely should read about characters struggling through and overcoming difficult situations. But if all readers see is characters constantly dying or giving into despair with no hope, they aren’t going to be caught up in the escapism.

Light and dark

Light does not necessarily have to mean the complete absence of dark. Even stories which are classed as comedies or are made for children can still delve into serious issues, often using humour to soften the blow. In many ways, these are my favourite types of stories, and I admire authors who can deal with these more sensitive issues while still retaining a comedic bend. A Series of Unfortunate Events is intentionally dark and outright points out in the narration that nothing is ever going to go right for the child protagonists. Yet audiences stay hooked because both the show and books make such good use of dark humour. You can see the same thing in many other works. My Little Pony had an episode about cults. Recess had an episode about psychological torture. Do I even need to mention the number of deaths in Disney movies?

Writing such stories is a positive experience, but that definitely doesn’t make it an easy one. Comedy isn’t nearly as easy to write as people assume it to be. I still have days when I’m so frustrated with my story that I need to take a step back from it to de-stress myself.

Remember what your story is

If you do like writing dark stories or want to impress a contest judge or your MFA teacher with a serious story, there’s nothing wrong with that. Just don’t think it’s the only thing which makes you a writer. Stories are intended to be entertaining and entertainment is supposed to be fun, not depressing. Whether it’s a concert, a television show, or a sports game, entertainment is designed to give people a good time. There is no reason why your stories shouldn’t be the same way.

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