Category Archives: villain

Tales From Undersea Character Profiles. Part 2 – Villains

01 Wednesday Jun 2022

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I previously posted the character profiles for the heroes in the Tales From Undersea series, but haven’t yet gotten around to the villains. So here they are! These are only the villains from the first two books, in order to avoid some major spoilers:

Petturi Konna

Captain of the Fenrir

Real name: Lewis Mercier

Name meaning/origin: English, ‘famous battle’

Race: Caucasian

Nationality: English

Birthplace: Penzance, England

Sex: Cis male

Age: 48

Orientation: Heterosexual

Languages: English

Deity: None

Family: Father (deceased), mother (estranged), 3 brothers (estranged)

Appearance: Thinning, balding dark red hair usually tied back, beer belly, dark brown eyes

Virtues: Intelligent, tactful, persuasive

Vices: Obsessive, vengeful, paranoid

Skills: Monster fighting, ocean knowledge, gathering information, lying

Weapons: Longsword, axe, duelling pistol

Flag: Two headed dragon on black background

Influences – Count Olaf (A Series of Unfortunate Events), Fagin (Oliver Twist), Captain Hook (Peter Pan)

Note: He is a poor fighter and compensates with trickery.

 

Background: Originally from a poor, abusive family in Penzance.  He had to steal to keep himself and his brothers alive, and even killed their landlord so they wouldn’t be evicted. His mother was so horrified by this act that she kicked him out and he moved Undersea. He eventually joined Redscalp’s crew, becoming his quartermaster. He became increasingly bitter and greedy, even leaving Priscilla and Robert to die for his personal gain. He helped Redscalp to hide the treasure but Redscalp hid the gemstone without his knowledge and wouldn’t tell him where. He intended to steal back the gemstone and the treasure for himself and got Redscalp drunk so he’d reveal where the gemstone is. But he gave him too much and he drank himself to death (specifically by drowning in his own vomit). He changed his identity and became captain of a Viking ship to avoid detection because the Pirate Queen was looking to punish him for his crimes. He spent years looking for the gemstone so that he could get the treasure back.

Captain Grail

Captain of The Invicta

Full name: Captain Richard Theodore Nigel Grail

Name origin/meaning: English, ‘brave ruler’

Age: 46

Nationality: Irish

Race: Caucasian

Birthplace: Cork, Ireland

Sex: Cis male

Orientation: Heterosexual

Appearance: Beer belly, grey hair

Virtues: Cultured, confident

Vices: Creepy, talkative, misogynistic, cruel

Skills: Trade, throwing parties

Likes: Art, canapes

Weapons: Pair of holster pistols

Quirks: Compulsive liar.

Goals: To be accepted into high society

Background: Grail is the captain of the The Invicta, a trade ship. While he is good at trade and highly cultured, he is cruel and uncaring and has thrown crewmembers overboard for displeasing him, resulting in some of them becoming merfolk. He is on the lookout for a suitable wife, but is overconfident in his abilities and looks. He is desperate to rise above his station and become a part of high society, even if he has to buy his way in.

Inspiration: Zapp Brannigan (Futurama), Douglas Reynholm (The IT Crowd)

 

Bonnie Read

Queen of the Pirate faction.

Name meaning/origin: Scottish, ‘pretty’

Age: 59

Race: Caucasian

Nationality: Scottish

Sex: Cis female

Orientation: Bisexual

Appearance: Long red hair, green eyes, thin face, expensive clothes and weapons

Deity: Poseidon

Languages: English

Virtues: Courageous, intelligent, calculating

Vices: Selfish, greedy

Quirks: Abuser

Skills: Combat, democracy, recognising opportunities

Weapons: Sword, pistol, throwing stars

Likes: Money, fine things

Dislikes: Rich people

Favourite food: Booze

Hobby: Racing

Vessel: The Revenge, The Hangman

Pet: Plato the monkey

Background: Bonnie ran away from her family at an early age to become a Pirate. She was elected Queen after sinking an entire Empire fleet at once. She will do anything to make the Pirate faction stronger and richer, which often means doing highly immoral things.

Inspiration: Anne Bonny (historical figure), Akito Sohma (Fruits Basket)

 

Sir Dante Francis Ashburn

Privateer and commander of the Silver Lion

Name origin/meaning: Italian, author of The Divine Comedy

Age: 34

Race: Caucasian

Nationality: English

Birthplace: Somerset, England

Sex: Cis male

Orientation: Homosexual (closeted)

Appearance: Wispy blonde hair (under wig), blue eyes, fine military uniform.

Family: Debra Ashburn (wife), 4 children, Shirokani (former lover)

Friends: Richard Holburne

Languages: English

Virtues: Courageous, determined, hard working

Vices: Insensitive, possessive, controlling, hypocritical

Quirks: Hidden sexuality, abusive

Skills: Leadership, keeping secrets

Weapons: Musket

Likes: His children, opera

Dislikes: His wife, Undersea factions

Background: Dante is from a prominent military family allied with the Holburnes. As a younger officer, he was part of a fleet which bought slaves from Japan. He fell in love with one of these slaves, Shirokani, and had a secret relationship with him. When he was forced into marriage with Debra, both of them were devastated. Shiro asked Dante to run away with him to Undersea and become Pirates, but Dante said that it was beneath them and the marriage went ahead, even though it made both of them miserable.

Eventually Shiro became so depressed that he literally jumped overboard. Dante thought it was suicide but he was actually jumping to the Barracuda. He deeply regrets his actions and still secretly grieves for Shiro. On the outside, he is happily married with four young children.

Since then, he has been knighted and become a privateer (legal pirate). He still looks down upon actual Pirates, and Shiro is well aware of his hypocrisy, although he isn’t.

 

Notes: He believes Shiro is dead and is still in love with him. He still adores his children and they are the only thing that makes him happy, even though his career means he can’t see them often.

His love for Shiro comes mostly from his desire to control another

He and Debra would actually make a good couple if their sexualities matched up.

Inspiration: Sir Francis Drake (historical figure)

 

Lt. Thaddeus Judecca

Second in command of the Silver Lion and very briefly the Captain. Later becomes Kei’s second

Name origin/meaning: Biblical, ‘heart’

Age: 50 (born 1734)

Race: Caucasian

Nationality: English

Sex: Cis male

Orientation: Heterosexual

Religion: Christian

Deity: Jesus Christ

Family: Wife, 2 children (he hates them)

Appearance: Dark hair under wig, thick grey eyebrows

Virtues: Devout, opportunistic

Vices: Poor judge of character, ruthless, submissive,

Quirks: Racist, homophobic

Likes: Battle

Hates: Vices such as alcohol

Weapons: Military issue sword

Languages: English, Latin

Foil: Shu Kei, Dante Ashburn

Goal: To rise above Ashburn

Background: Like Ashburn, Judecca is from a wealthy and important family and gained a high position in the Navy. He is somewhat bitter that Ashburn was promoted over him, since he is older and more experienced but slightly lower in social status.

Inspiration: Captain Norrington (POTC)

Note: His surname is a reference to The Divine Comedy and the place in Hell where traitors to their masters are sent.

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Top Six Books I Read in 2021

10 Monday Jan 2022

Posted by in author, Blog, books, fairy tale, fantasy, pirate, romance, villain

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Since 2022 is already in full swing, I thought I’d make my first post of the year about my favourite books I read in the past year. According to Goodreads, I managed to read 56 books in 2021! One more than my goal of 55! These were the ones I liked the best:

(Note, this is ‘books I read in 2021’ and not ‘books which were published in 2021’)

  1. The Girl the Sea Gave Back by Adrienne Young

I do love a good Norse-inspired fantasy, and this one didn’t disappoint. Tova is a relatable ‘out of place’ protagonist, hated by her community yet completely essential to them. The romance between her and Halvard was a little sudden, but I loved how it played out in the end.

2. Steel Rose by Kathryn Ann Kingsley

I wasn’t sure I was going to enjoy a ‘villain romance’ at first, especially since this is essentially the romance between a freedom fighter and a quasi-communist leader (I live in Finland and we don’t exactly like communists). But this book surprised me. What drew me in most to this book was the dieselpunk world of airships, art-deco buildings, and an interesting concept of communism essentially taking over all of Europe. I’m excited to read further books in this series to see how this corrupt government falls.

3. Sherwood by Meagan Spooner

I already wrote a full review gushing over this book. To avoid repeating myself, this is a feminist re-telling of Robin Hood from Maid Marion’s perspective. I especially love how the feminist message is portrayed without being overly preachy and still fitting in with the attitudes of the time period.

4. The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket

It took me far too long to start the Series of Unfortunate Events books, especially considering the TV show is my favourite series, and the reason Neil Patrick Harris is my favourite actor. I wasn’t disappointed by the book version, and some lines really shook me, even knowing how the story was going to unfold.

5. Knightmare Arcanist by Shami Stovall

While this may seem like another ‘kids with powers’ YA book, the likeable characters, range of unique mythical creatures, and exciting plot set it apart from all the other cookie cutter YA fantasy books I read on a regular basis.

6. To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Fairy tale retellings are very popular right now, but I have to admit I prefer the darker versions. This book is a loose retelling of The Little Mermaid with a sinister twist – the mermaid is a siren who has to capture the heart of the prince. By which I mean his literal heart, not just his love. This book also has a great supporting cast, vivid locations, and an exciting plot. And did I mention pirates? Yeah, if you can’t tell, I also have a thing for pirates.

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On This Day… November 22nd 1718

22 Monday Nov 2021

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Today marks the 303rd anniversary of the death of Blackbeard, one of the most famous and most notorious pirates in history. He was so famous in fact that many fictional pirate tropes can directly be attributed to him (and I’m not talking about all these weird images where it looks like his hair is on fire).

First off, the ‘pirate accent’ is actually just the regional dialect of south west England, where Blackbeard (or rather Edward Teach) was from. He most likely started life hauling cargo in the busy Bristol docks as his father had done, before giving it up for a life of piracy.

But perhaps Blackbeard’s greatest contribution to pirate lore is just how reckless he was. His blockade of Charles Town is regarded as one of the boldest moves made by any pirate. His death might have influenced the heroic image of the pirate dying in battle, fighting until the end. Even though if you take a close look at pirates, they weren’t really that romantic but brutal terrorists and murderers.

Even so, Blackbeard’s story is fascinating, and a big inspiration for my own pirate novels. If you want to learn more about him, I highly recommend Internet Historian’s video The Gentleman Pirate, which is half drama and half documentary.

Six Steampunk Trends I love (and One I Hate)

01 Tuesday Jun 2021

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I’ve been researching popular trends in steampunk books lately to better help my own writing, and in doing so I’ve uncovered some I really like, and a few I can’t stand. These are some of them:

  1. Magitech

I once heard someone say that magic has no place in steampunk since technology usually fills the same role. But steampunk often straddles the thin like between fantasy and science fiction, so why can’t we have both? Technical devices powered by magic are both fascinating and unique, and allow us to experience the best of both fantasy and sci-fi.

2. Steam-powered dictatorship

The popularity of the dystopian genre seems to have bled into steampunk in franchises such as Mortal Engines. It is a nice subversion for the standard steampunk setting where technology improves everyone’s lives and society lives in harmony. I especially love the setting in Kathryn Ann Kingsley’s Cardinal Wings series where a communist-style society has essentially taken over all of Europe.

3. Murder mystery

Perhaps it’s because of Sherlock Holmes, but there seem to be quite a few mystery series with a steampunk twist. My particular favourites are The Daemoniac by Kat Ross about a gender-flipped Sherlock Holmes and the Arcane Casebook series by Dan Willis which takes a more dieselpunk tone.

4. Art nouveau

While we mostly associate steampunk with Victorian aesthetics, it seems more common lately to include inspiration from the early 20th century and the art nouveau and art deco styles. As much as I like the Victorian era, I like these looks much better and find the simplistic lines much more pleasing. They can be used both to make a setting look cool or to make it appear imposing and threatening.

5. Propaganda

The role which propaganda plays in our public perception has been more of a hot-button issue in recent years. As sinister as it is, there is something oddly fascinating about how words and images can sway huge groups of people into a particular way of thinking, and how virtually every society has attempted it at some point in history. Steampunk is a particularly interesting genre to explore this, especially when combined with the dystopian elements I mentioned above.

6. Enemies to lovers

Readers have been going crazy over this trope lately, especially since we’ve started deconstructing classic villain archtypes. There’s something incredibly thrilling about reading two people from opposing sides realising they actually have a lot in common and going from one emotional extreme to the other. Once again, this works perfectly in steampunk fiction which loves both a good villain and a good romance.

And one trend I hate:

Everyone loves the hero

I enjoy romantic drama as much as the next reader or fanfiction writer, but something I notice a lot in the steampunk books I’ve read lately is protagonists with several love interests, or at least people who are interested in them. Sometimes it seems as if the entire world is falling at the main character’s feet within moments of meeting them. It runs the risk of portraying the character as unrealistic and there isn’t going to be much of a character arc unless somebody hates their guts.

 

What are your favourite and least favourite steampunk trends? Let me know in the comments below!

 

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Top Five Amazing Pirate Facts I Discovered During my Research

15 Tuesday Dec 2020

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My debut novel Traitor’s Revenge, a pirate steampunk adventure, came out the other week and I’m very proud of all the hard work I put into it. One of the best parts of writing the book was all the weird facts I discovered about pirates during my research, many of which I’ve managed to work into the series. These are some of my favourites:

  1. Pirates practised gay marriage

Well, not exactly marriage in the way we understand it today. Pirates did have a practise called ‘matelotage’ between two male pirates, which worked as a sort of life insurance policy. Piracy was incredibly dangerous so in the very likely chance that you would be blown to pieces during a fight, your friend could inherit all of your money and possessions, and would have a financial safety net when you were gone. Sexual relationships between pirates in matelotage has been recorded, so it’s likely that some of these relationships were romantic in nature, too. Homosexuality was so common amongst pirates that prostitutes were sent to the island of Tortuga to try and put a stop to it. All it did was turn them into polyamorous, bisexual pirates.

  1. Pirates played mock trial

With long, tedious stretches of time between fights and nothing much for entertainment (most pirates were illiterate), one of the most common forms of entertainment for pirates was to put on mock piracy trials and pretend to condemn one another to death. No doubt this was at least partially to mock the authorities who were out to get them, too.

  1. There were government sanctioned pirates

It may seem hypocritical, and it was, but the same governments which worked so hard to put a stop to piracy encouraged the practise themselves. Privateers were essentially legal pirates with pieces of paper known as ‘letters of marque’ which said that they could attack and loot other ships as much as they wanted, even taking slaves. Because of course, anything is fine if the government says you can do it.

  1. The ‘pirate accent’ is just a regional dialect

When we think of ‘pirate talk’, we imagine a lot of ‘argh mateys’. Truthfully, this is just the West Country accent common around the British port city of Bristol. Pirates came from all over and had a range of different accents, languages, and dialects. We only associated the West Country accent because of actor Robert Newton, who played Long John Silver in the 1950 version adaptation of Treasure Island and appeared in many other pirate films. He exaggerated his south-west accent and the association stuck. However, being a major port city at the time, some famous pirates such as Blackbeard did come from Bristol, so it’s likely that at least some of them did speak in the ‘pirate accent’.

  1. Pirates mostly stole essentials

Another common association with pirates is stealing hefty chests full of gold and treasure. They probably wouldn’t have said no to it, but such valuables would have been difficult to sell, and wouldn’t have sustained them during long sea voyages. If your ship was held up by pirates, they would be much more likely to steal food, fresh water, building material, spices, and most valuable of all; medicine. Not only could they use these, they were much easier to sell in the next port.

If you like pirate stories, my novel Traitor’s Revenge is out now.

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This is unrelated to anything else, but I just have to draw attention to this amazing stock image I found when looking for images for this post:

Clearly I’m writing in the wrong genre…

Tales From Undersea – Traitor’s Revenge (excerpt)

04 Monday May 2020

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“Move aside. I’ll take her,” a new Viking joined the fight, the others parting to let him pass. Judging by his age, the quality of the axe in his hand, and the commanding tone of his voice, Alethea guessed that this was the Viking Chieftain.

A roar from Iku-turso interrupted their fight. Each of them instinctively covered their ears, forgetting that they were all wearing diving helmets.

“Chief,” one of the Vikings said over the sound. He was a tall Polynesian man with ink black skin and long hair which flowed in the water. His Viking attire was decorated with patterns and symbols of the Polynesian islands and a shark toothed club hung from his holster. The man looked as if he could punch through walls and kill an elephant with a single fist.

“Not now, Inoki,” the Chieftain said, not looking at him as he swam closer to Alethea, who gripped her own sword tighter. She considered how quickly she could draw her gun from her holster and fire, or how quickly she could draw Robert’s gun from its hidden pouch if she needed to.

“Chief, it’s about to rip the Fenrir apart. We need to leave now,” Inoki said, placing a large hand on the Chief’s shoulder.

Alethea risked a glance to see that the creature, blood pouring from its cut tentacle, close to tearing off the Fenrir’s hull. Glances between the Vikings told them that they would have to leave, without the stone.

“Damn you pirate arseholes. Think you rule the entire ocean,” one of the more particularly violent Vikings said, throwing his axe to the ground in frustration. It took him a moment to remember that he was underwater and desperately grabbed it again before it floated to the surface.

The Chieftain said nothing. He kicked himself off his crewmate to cross the distance to Alethea. She barely raised her sword in time to clash against his axe.

“I hope you don’t think Redscalp’s treasure is yours to take, Barracuda,” he growled.

There was something in his voice which shook Alethea. Something which bothered her even more than the axe in his hand or the monster roaring close by.

“Who are you?” she asked without knowing why.

With a motion so swift it made her gasp, he grabbed her arm and pulled her closer. She could see his face clearly through his helmet. She could see his greying red hair streaked across his forehead and his dark brown eyes, looking straight into hers as if he were inspecting her. Even in the cold Nordic sea, her blood seemed to boil.

“I already told you, I’m Petturi Konna. And I am the rightful heir to Redscalp’s treasure. It’s what I’m owed.”

 

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Why I love fairy tales (but I hate fairy stories)

08 Tuesday May 2018

Posted by in anime, Blog, criticism, fairy tale, fantasy, musings, villain, writing

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I love fairy tales and love writing stories adapting or subverting their tropes. But one thing you will never find me writing is stories about fairies, or even featuring fairies, because personally I can’t stand them and have no interest in writing about them.

If this may seem odd, consider the difference between a fairy tale and a fairy story. In his essay On Fairy Tales, J.R.R Tolkien defined a fairy tale as a story dealing with the land of faery and mankind’s relationship with it. They often work as cautionary tales about wandering into the realm of the fae and not being able to return to the ‘real’ world.

‘Faery’ is a fairly broad term but it generally refers to what ancient cultures believed was a world parallel to but connected to our own filled with other-worldly creatures. Fairies were one such creature, but not the only ones which were said to inhabit it.


By contrast, Tolkien defined fantasy as something set in an entirely invented world, like his own Middle Earth. More authors are making subversions by returning to the fae variety, but what we now call fairies tend to be creatures of fantasy rather than mythology. They tend to be small, humanoid beings, usually with wings and some form of magical powers.


The reason these fairies never resonated with me is because each interpretation tends to fall into one of these categories:

1. Too generic. It’s difficult for me to love any fantasy creature if the author doesn’t do at least something new with it.
2. Too girly. Not that I’m against girly (I’m a big fan of My Little Pony) but so many writers try to make their fairies too saccharine and sweet, which makes me feel like they just vomited glitter all over the page.
3. Too bitchy. I guess this is supposed to be a subversion of the girly variety, but it tends to come across to me as making them overly mean for no real reason.

This doesn’t mean that I hate all stories with fairies, however. I like the weather fairies in A Tiny Snow Fairy Sugar and the sweets spirits in Yumeiro Pâtissière since despite being overly cutsy, they were still different than the standard fare and their story arcs were just as strong and significant as those of their human friends.


By far my favourite fairies in any form of fiction were the three good fairies – Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather – in Disney’s version of Sleeping Beauty. This is because they were well-rounded, funny, and interesting characters, in fact they were far more heroic than the incredibly bland and useless titular character.


While their magical powers were fairly generic and the film does rely upon incredibly black and white ideas of good and evil, the three of them avoided being either too girly or too bitchy by becoming developed characters rather than fairy archetypes. They had positive and negative qualities, they created some of the best comedy that’s ever been seen in a Disney film, they were loving to Aurora despite her complete lack of a personality, and when the time came to it they were completely badass. Really, the King and Queen should have given control of the kingdom to them at the end, since they were the only ones who had any sense (destroying all the spinning wheels in the kingdom both destroyed the economy and left everyone naked, your majesty).

The villainess Maleficent is also technically a fairy (which is why the re-make made her more like the fae variety) but also greatly different than most ‘bad’ fairies in fiction. True her motivation is for incredibly petty reasons, only because she wasn’t invited to a party, but she is still one of the most memorable villains that Disney has ever made. Even sixty years later, she is still the benchmark against which all other animated villains are measured. The strong characterisation of both the good and evil fairies is what makes Sleeping Beauty into both a fairy tale and a good story about fairies.


What are your thoughts on fairy tales and fairy stories? What are your favourite and least favourite fictional fairies? Tell me in the comments below!

My Top Six Childhood Traumas

05 Monday Feb 2018

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I’ve seen a lot of videos on Youtube lately about childhood traumas – the movies or tv shows which gave people nightmares when they were children. It’s a real eye opener into what people found scary when they are children, compared to when they’re adults. There are a lot of things you’d expect children to fear which they don’t find frightening at all. I was never scared by Goosebumps or Are You Afraid of the Dark. But there are a lot of things which end up frightening children when they’re not supposed to, even when they’re intended to be cute and harmless. These are my top childhood traumas which freaked me out when I was younger, and still do a little bit today:

Muppet Christmas Carol

Muppet Christmas Carol is now amongst my favourite Christmas films, and the season doesn’t feel complete without watching it at least once. But the reason why it is one of the best adaptations of A Christmas Carol is because the filmmakers knew that it was primarily a ghost story, and the addition of Muppets somehow only makes it scarier. The parts which always freaked me out when I was young where when the doorknocker turns into the face of Jacob Marley, the entire scene right before the ghosts first appear, and of course the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, who literally has the face of death.

Jumanji

I’ve only seen this film once when it first came out, but it terrified me so much that I can’t bring myself to watch it again, or even the reboot. I genuinely don’t know why they thought this would be an ideal film for children, just because they cast Robin Williams in it. It was made in the early days of CGI when it was still incredibly uncanny, and having all of them coming straight at the camera only makes it worse.

The burglars from Home Alone

How could the most popular family comedy of the 90’s possibly traumatise me? Because it prays on the primal childhood fear of burglars breaking into your house and trying to hurt you. The burglars were genuinely terrifying until Kevin set all of his death traps, and even a little bit afterwards. The video game was even worse. I always felt a lot of anxiety for the burglars capturing my character and hanging him on a hook. I think that’s part of the reason why I can’t stand playing video games today.

The junk yard from The Brave Little Toaster

Have you ever noticed what an incredible work of art The Brave Little Toaster is? On first glance, it seems like just another animated children’s film about talking objects. Instead, it’s a painfully poignant tale about what becomes of your life when you can no longer meet your purpose.

The junk yard scene is one of the most frightening scenes in any children’s film, when you think about it. As the cars sing upbeat tune which sounds like it could have come from Rocky Horror, they reminisce about their lives as one by one they are picked up by the omnipotent magnet and dropped onto a conveyer belt to be crushed to death. The magnet is a sort-of metaphor for the Grim Reaper – It picks up the cars and other pieces of junk seemingly at random with no mercy to meet their demise. The cars know that their deaths are inevitable, they just don’t know when it is coming.

I think I need to go and watch My Little Pony for a while…

Return to Oz

Because I’m one of those ‘edgy’ kids, I much prefer Return to Oz to the original The Wizard of Oz, but again, it took me several years of therapy to come to fully appreciate it. First, Dorothy’s aunt and uncle send her to an asylum for electric shock therapy treatment. Next, when she’s back in Oz, she’s stalked by these terrifying wheeler things. Then she’s imprisoned by a woman who has a whole collection of interchangeable heads. When Dorothy tries to steal from her, they all start screaming while the headless body comes after her. Even the uncanny stop motion on the mountain thing was nothing after that horror.

Now that I think of it, couldn’t you escape the wheelers just by climbing some stairs?

Chernobog from Fantasia

Say, here’s a good idea; Let’s raise children as innocent little Christians, instil a fear of hell and demons inside of them to keep them away from bad things like gay thoughts, and then let’s put FUCKING THIS into a Disney film:

Seriously, Walt Disney did know that he had to include a little darkness in his films (Have you ever actually watched Pinocchio? It’s fucked up.), but why did he think it would be a good idea to put the literal, actual devil into the same film as prancing hippos, dancing flowers, and pretty centaurs?

Remember kids, the devil is coming for you!

Nowadays, I can appreciate the sequence for its artistry, and actually admire that they managed to get away with something so intense in the 1940s (this was the same decade when you couldn’t even say the word ‘virgin’ on screen).

But as a sheltered Christian child, I was so scared whenever the Night on Bald Mountain segment started that I fled to the other room. It hadn’t occurred to me yet that I could just turn off the VHS. And I didn’t know that if I had kept watching, I would’ve found out that Chernobog is a complete pussy who is scared off by just a bit of light and choral music. But six-year-old me just didn’t know any better.

 

What were your childhood traumas from film and television which scared you when you were younger? Were my fears justified, or was I a complete baby? Tell me in the comments below!

Top Four Book Subplots Which Were Better Than the Main Plot

20 Monday Nov 2017

Posted by in author, Blog, Common Criticism, criticism, fantasy, romance, story, villain, writing, writing advice

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Subplots and side characters serve an important narrative role in fiction. They fill out the world and break up the story so that the main cast aren’t overwhelmed with solving every problem. This is why authors should give just as much love and attention to them as they do the main plot and characters. But there are some books in which the subplots and the characters within them are actually better than the main plot. Sometimes you find yourself dragging through the main plot and waiting with anticipation for the subplot to start up again. These are some subplots which I liked far better than the novel’s main plot (again, this is all opinion based, so don’t get your panties in a bunch if I include something you like):

Eragon – Roran’s story

The main plot: A Gary-Stu stumbles upon an adorable baby dragon and a bunch of other abilities and makes a lot of powerful friends. They travel the world of inexplicable geography to rip of Star Wars and every other fantasy story ever to take down the evil emperor, who is only evil because the author says he is. At one point the protagonist spends an entire chapter hanging around some woods and thinking about how ants are neat.

The sub plot: A normal farm boy with no special powers or privileges goes out into a world he barely knows to avenge his fallen father, save the survivors of his village, and rescue his true love, all so that he can return to living a normal life with the ones he loves.

So awesome that they were of course cut from the movie

The Hunger Games – Basically any of the other subplots

The main plot: A girl appears on a reality tv death show, takes down the government, and still has time for the most overblown love triangle ever. All for a poorly thought out social commentary that rich people are bad (who knew?).

The sub plot: Two kindred spirits both suffering from post-traumatic stress have a forbidden romance with one of them being used by the President as a sex slave, yet still help the other deal with their mental issues. When they finally wind up happy together, one of them is unceremoniously killed off-page.

The other sub plot: At age 12, Rue is already caring for her younger siblings until she is chosen for The Hunger Games, or super happy death camp. She survives for a long time thanks to her hiding abilities until her death sparks the first riot amongst the regular population which leads to the takedown of the government.

How the entire series went in my head

His Dark Materials – Mary Malone and the mulefa

The main plot: Two super special awesome kids with overpowered plot devices go on a quest to kill God, despite having no real qualms against him, go to the world of the dead just because they can, and have a tragic ending for no real reason. The message is that religion is a lie, even though God and the afterlife literally exist in this multiverse.

The sub plot: A nun-turned-scientist discovers gateways between worlds and comes to live with a bizarre alternate reality race who help her uncover the nature of the entire universe and how to save it.

The Princess Bride – Inigo Montoya’s revenge

The main plot: In the book version at least, two overblown romance novel stereotypes with no real personalities or likeable attributes go through a bunch of overblown romance novel clichés and almost die for each other BECAUSE TRUE LOVE!!

The sub plot: A man who witnessed his father’s murder as a child dedicates his entire life to avenging him, but instead becomes a washed up drunk assisting the main idiots with their stupid problems. He finally gets his revenge in the most awesome fight scene ever and becomes a legendary pirate, showing us how far a person will really go for the sake of true love.

The real reason we all read the book

Top Five Anime Cliches That Novelists Should Avoid

13 Monday Nov 2017

Posted by in anime, Common Criticism, criticism, fantasy, romance, shojo, story, villain, writing, writing advice

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When I began my first novel, I spent a lot of my free time watching anime. This bled into my writing and caused me to fill my book with characters and plot elements similar to those I had seen in anime.

It was only when I looked back at my first drafts that I saw just how out of place this influence was. These tropes are perfectly acceptable in anime, even if most of them are considered clichés, but don’t belong in a novel. If you’re having the same problem that I had, these are some of the anime stereotypes to look out for and leave out of your novel:

Complex love charts

Practically every anime has a complex chart of who has a crush on who, setting the ground for how the chart will be sorted out and who is going to end up with who in the end. A novel doesn’t have the same amount of time for relationship development as a 52-episode anime, so it won’t have the space to solve such a complex love chart. Novel readers also aren’t as into love triangles as anime fans are, despite what publishers will have you believe. Keep your love charts as simple as possible and resolve them fully by the end of your book.

But the chart says…

Anime hair

I’m majorly jealous of the girls in anime. They all have wacky hair colours in styles that are impossible in real life. It’s tempting to give your novel characters a similar appearance in order to make them a little more different or quirky. But while we expect girls in anime to have weird hair colours and styles, it won’t make as much sense in a novel, unless you can somehow explain where a medieval-esque fantasy society are getting so much hair dye.

Oh sure, it’s easy when you wear a wig…

Casual physical abuse

The trademark of the ‘yandere’ character is to punch their love interest into the sunset for the smallest of mistakes. Not only is this considered horribly abusive behaviour, it makes the characters despicable, not lovable. In real life, this person would either be in jail or undergoing severe psychiatric treatment. If your novel characters abuse their partners, or anyone else, it should only be if you are writing them as purposefully villainous.

Typical anime love interest

Harems

A classic anime story – A completely normal, average guy, serving as the surrogate for the romantically frustrated male audience, winds up with at least half a dozen beautiful young girls, who all magically love him despite his complete lack of a personality. It’s a male fantasy that may work in anime and visual novel games, but has no place in actual novels.

Not pictured: Personality

Lovable pervert

I think it’s fairly obvious what this character is all about. It’s difficult to make an outwardly perverted character likeable, as they will come across as creepy and rapey instead. If you try to make this character into the love interest, it will be even more unbelievable, as nobody will believe that this person can magically become monogamous through the power of love. Your novel characters may experience attraction or a sexual awakening like everyone does, but try to keep their perversions to a minimum.