Category Archives: Blog

Are We Over-Analysing Stories?

08 Wednesday Aug 2018

Posted by in author, Blog, book review, criticism, culture, film, film review, musings, story, writing

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An analysis on both the shortcomings and successes of capitalism and the disillusionment of a capitalist society and aversion to manual labour, the exploited proletariat, and the realities of Marxist socialism. With references to Ayn Rand, Soviet propaganda, and Bernard Manderville. That’s Wisecrack’s view of Bee Movie, anyway. To me it’s just a so-bad-it’s-good failed Jerry Seinfeld animated children’s film about bees that I watch when I’m drunk.

Also a woman fell in love with a bee

Why analyse stories?

I like most writers gained an interest in the field through English literature classes at school. I was encouraged to analyse and critique books, and later films at university, and never stopped. There’s nothing wrong with this as it’s both enjoyable and an essential part of being a writer. How can you hope to write well if you don’t know the elements of good storytelling?

There’s not even anything wrong with making analysis part of fandom activity. Often the most loyal fans are the most critical since they pay closer attention to the work. And being aware of the flaws in a piece of fiction doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy it. I could write essays about what is wrong with Tolkien’s books and the film adaptations, but I could also write twice as much on everything great about them.

I have a lot to say about Legolas’ mullet

The critic problem

Being so obsessed with stories has naturally led me to making extra money by writing book reviews, and occasionally posting reviews on this blog. The general structure of a review which was given to me by the editor is supposed to be:

  • The general plot of the novel
  • What works and doesn’t work about it
  • Who would enjoy the book and who should avoid it

In my spare time I enjoy watching reviews and video essays on Youtube. I even enjoy Wisecrack’s series of philosophy and deeper meaning videos, since it puts a lot of my favourite stories in an entirely new context that I never noticed before. Some online critics have even turned critiquing into an artform in itself, by making their videos both informative and funny. Tony Goldmark, who reviews theme parks on his show ‘Some Jerk With a Camera’ is my favourite reviewer since he uses his background in comedy music to make his videos half review and half comedy sketch show.

But even the critics I used to enjoy are deviating away from the formula that I obey strictly, something which was made even clearer during the recent Change the Channel fiasco. I’m not alone in feeling that some professional critics are getting a little too invested in what is supposed to be just entertainment and angry over what they deem as subpar. I understand that they care deeply about maintaining a high standard of quality in the industry. Yet even as a writer and part-time critic myself, sometimes I just want to scream at them ‘it’s only a story! Get over yourself. It’s not worth getting this angry’.

The rise in popularity of Youtube channels such as Cinema Sins has also created the idea that we need to nitpick every tiny detail of a work of fiction and that anything less than perfect is worthless. Yet nobody in history has ever created anything completely perfect (except for my parents when they made me!). Just look at their critique on Ratatouille. Did you even notice half of the ‘sins’ they bring up? Did it ruin your enjoyment of the film? Probably not. You were probably just paying attention to the story, characters, and great comedy, not minor continuity errors that nobody cares about.

Obsessively critical attitudes like this are part of the reason why people seem to be becoming more cynical and judgemental about media today and may even be putting off great artists from creating the things they love. Nitpicking is neither good criticism nor good entertainment. That’s why nobody wants to hang out with the person who teases you for every little thing.

The ‘wrong’ perspective

This can happen in English literature classes too. True most authors do write for their love of the craft, and with the average pay for writers being so low that’s the only real reason people should write. But what they don’t teach you at school is that more often than we’d like to admit, if you ask a writer the real meaning behind their work, they’ll answer ‘because I needed the money’ or ‘that’s the only way I could get the story to work’.

We tend to view Shakespeare’s plays as the height of sophistication which people quote to sound smart (I know I do). Yet we forget that at the time they were written, they were seen as populist entertainment, the same way that soap operas and sitcoms are generally viewed today. If you analyse them deep enough, you will find lots of bawdy humour, black comedy, and words Shakespeare made up just to suit the scene (did you know he invented the word ‘elbow’?). Some even theorise that he had to write his plays a certain way to entertain royals, not because he wanted to bore school children hundreds of years later.

This is happening even to more contemporary authors. Right up to his death, Ray Bradbury had people arguing to his face that his novel Fahrenheit 451 is about censorship, not a commentary on television like he intended.

I suppose having your work mis-interpreted is one of the risks of being an author. Then again, the entire point of literature, in my opinion at least, is that each reader is allowed to interpret it the way that they want. And if thousands of people view Farenheit 451 as a critique on censorship then there’s nothing wrong with that. There is something wrong with telling the guy who wrote the book that his own interpretation is incorrect and that theirs is the only right one.

Analyse at your own will

It is enjoyable to look for the meaning and symbolism in fiction and to write it into your own stories. But I’m against the idea that all stories need to be layered in symbolism or have a deep and important message. Stories can be read and written just for fun, not because we want to play a game of ‘spot the symbolism’. Some stories can just be about an exciting adventure or two people falling in love, not a veiled essay on the Irish potato famine.

Maybe Bee Movie is a genius deconstruction of capitalism. Or maybe it’s a dumb animated movie about bees which is fun to riff on with friends. At the end of the day the only thing that really matter is what you thought of it.

Crazy fan theories – When will Arthur return?

29 Tuesday May 2018

Posted by in Blog, crazy fan theory, fantasy, merlin, story, tv

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Warning – Major spoilers for the ending of Merlin (BBC series)

Welcome to a new section of my blog called Crazy Fan Theories. Here I will be sharing bizarre headcanons I have developed for my favourite pieces of pop culture and examining existing fan theories. I’m going to start off with one of my favourite tv shows- the BBC series Merlin– and one of the ongoing questions which fans have been asking since the show ended in 2012.

When will Arthur return?

Like all Arthurian legends, the show had a tragic ending. In the final episode, Arthur succumbed to war injuries and died in Merlin’s arms. Merlin gave him a Viking funeral to send him to the Isle of Avalon to await the predestined day that Arthur will return when Albion needs him most.

Plus he had to drag the body there himself

The show’s final scene is an epilogue of sorts in which we see Merlin as an old man in the modern-day walking past the Isle of Avalon, still keeping watch over it and awaiting Arthur’s return. Supposedly he has been waiting for over 1,000 years at this point, long after everyone he ever loved has died.

Good old family entertainment from the BBC

The more you think about it, the sadder it becomes. The entire series was focused upon Merlin restoring the ‘golden age of magic’ and ending Camelot’s persecution of magic users. Yet many fans felt cheated that they never got to see this happen. It becomes even sadder when you consider Britain’s long history of witch burnings and the fact that witchcraft didn’t become legal in the UK until 1951. Even today, neo-pagan religions such as Wicca and Druidism are incredibly obscure and are generally treated as strange and suspicious. The last time I checked, the UK isn’t full of magical creatures such as dragons and unicorns either, so all that trouble Merlin went through to save the last dragon egg was completely pointless.

Completely pointless baby dragon

So Merlin has basically failed in his lifelong quest of restoring magic, but he can still await Arthur, right? Except that Albion doesn’t need the two of them anymore. Despite what fearmongering tabloids will tell you, the UK, and the western world in general, is better and safer than it ever has been in history (so I really don’t know what I’m constantly complaining about…). Not that everything is great for everyone but people in the UK now live longer, have easy access to all necessities, and can freely practice magic (even if it isn’t the glowy eyes kind from the tv show). This article on Ranker points out that even people in the UK working minimum wage jobs still generally have more freedom and a better quality of life than Arthur had as a king in the Anglo-Saxon period. They aren’t being forced to marry their cousins at the age of 12, they aren’t at risk from dying from something as simple as an ear infection, and they don’t have to live in drafty stone castles. They also aren’t constantly at risk from invading armies or the occasional griffin attack.

Apparently this just used to happen all the time

But if modern-day Albion is doing so well, does that mean that Arthur will never need to come back? Will Merlin wait forever for a day that will never come? Or perhaps this golden age was possible because Arthur has already returned.

Arthur’s real return

Albion has seen a lot of war and strife in the thousand or so years since Arthur’s death, but not even those were enough to warrant Arthur’s return. The one time in this turbulent history when the people of Albion were in the most danger, when they needed Arthur more than ever, was during the blitz from 1940 to 1941. In all the wars in British history, this was the only time that civilians were in constant danger of attack. An estimated 43,000 civilians were killed during this short time and endless buildings were destroyed, taking decades to be restored.

Destruction during the blitz

It makes sense that this would be the time when Arthur returned from Avalon to defend the people of Albion with Merlin’s help. With 1,000 years to think it over, he would have come to terms with witchcraft and fighting alongside a wizard as well. Perhaps he took on a new persona as an army figurehead and might have even become a politician after the war. The timing of this coincides nicely with the repeal of the Witchcraft Act in 1951 and the emergence of neopagan religions in subsequent decades. Perhaps Arthur and Merlin were covertly working to gradually restore the Old Religion to Albion and accomplish what they weren’t able to in the age of Camelot. If anything they beat their predestined expectations since paganism is now more popular than ever and practised throughout the world.

Modern day druids at Stonehenge (which was built by Merlin, btw)

When we see Merlin as an old man in the final scene, it isn’t because he is an immortal stuck in that form forever. After Arthur returned to save Albion and their destiny was fulfilled, both of them were free to live their lives however they wanted and Merlin finally started to age naturally. By 2012, Arthur had passed away from old age after a long and fulfilling life. Old Merlin is not waiting for Arthur’s return – he’s waiting the day when he can finally move on to join Arthur and all of his loved ones in Avalon. They may not have been completely successful in restoring the old ways, but they can still rest knowing that magic users are safe from persecution and Albion will be just fine without them.

 

What do you think of my headcanon? What’s your crazy Merlin fan theory? Tell me in the comments below!

Why I love fairy tales (but I hate fairy stories)

08 Tuesday May 2018

Posted by in anime, Blog, criticism, fairy tale, fantasy, musings, villain, writing

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I love fairy tales and love writing stories adapting or subverting their tropes. But one thing you will never find me writing is stories about fairies, or even featuring fairies, because personally I can’t stand them and have no interest in writing about them.

If this may seem odd, consider the difference between a fairy tale and a fairy story. In his essay On Fairy Tales, J.R.R Tolkien defined a fairy tale as a story dealing with the land of faery and mankind’s relationship with it. They often work as cautionary tales about wandering into the realm of the fae and not being able to return to the ‘real’ world.

‘Faery’ is a fairly broad term but it generally refers to what ancient cultures believed was a world parallel to but connected to our own filled with other-worldly creatures. Fairies were one such creature, but not the only ones which were said to inhabit it.


By contrast, Tolkien defined fantasy as something set in an entirely invented world, like his own Middle Earth. More authors are making subversions by returning to the fae variety, but what we now call fairies tend to be creatures of fantasy rather than mythology. They tend to be small, humanoid beings, usually with wings and some form of magical powers.


The reason these fairies never resonated with me is because each interpretation tends to fall into one of these categories:

1. Too generic. It’s difficult for me to love any fantasy creature if the author doesn’t do at least something new with it.
2. Too girly. Not that I’m against girly (I’m a big fan of My Little Pony) but so many writers try to make their fairies too saccharine and sweet, which makes me feel like they just vomited glitter all over the page.
3. Too bitchy. I guess this is supposed to be a subversion of the girly variety, but it tends to come across to me as making them overly mean for no real reason.

This doesn’t mean that I hate all stories with fairies, however. I like the weather fairies in A Tiny Snow Fairy Sugar and the sweets spirits in Yumeiro Pâtissière since despite being overly cutsy, they were still different than the standard fare and their story arcs were just as strong and significant as those of their human friends.


By far my favourite fairies in any form of fiction were the three good fairies – Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather – in Disney’s version of Sleeping Beauty. This is because they were well-rounded, funny, and interesting characters, in fact they were far more heroic than the incredibly bland and useless titular character.


While their magical powers were fairly generic and the film does rely upon incredibly black and white ideas of good and evil, the three of them avoided being either too girly or too bitchy by becoming developed characters rather than fairy archetypes. They had positive and negative qualities, they created some of the best comedy that’s ever been seen in a Disney film, they were loving to Aurora despite her complete lack of a personality, and when the time came to it they were completely badass. Really, the King and Queen should have given control of the kingdom to them at the end, since they were the only ones who had any sense (destroying all the spinning wheels in the kingdom both destroyed the economy and left everyone naked, your majesty).

The villainess Maleficent is also technically a fairy (which is why the re-make made her more like the fae variety) but also greatly different than most ‘bad’ fairies in fiction. True her motivation is for incredibly petty reasons, only because she wasn’t invited to a party, but she is still one of the most memorable villains that Disney has ever made. Even sixty years later, she is still the benchmark against which all other animated villains are measured. The strong characterisation of both the good and evil fairies is what makes Sleeping Beauty into both a fairy tale and a good story about fairies.


What are your thoughts on fairy tales and fairy stories? What are your favourite and least favourite fictional fairies? Tell me in the comments below!

What #ChangetheChannel has taught me about online content creation

12 Thursday Apr 2018

Posted by in Blog, Common Criticism, criticism, film, indie, internet, musings

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You might have heard of a controversy that’s circulating the internet right now going by the name #ChangetheChannel. In a nutshell, it involves a website called Channel Awesome which hosts video reviews, recaps, etc about pop culture. It was started by Doug Walker as a place to showcase his Nostalgia Critic character but went on to host dozens of other reviewers. For years it was an incredibly popular website and I’m one of the many who used to visit it religiously. I used to have a lot of fun watching videos with my boyfriend (now my husband) and fondly remember watching Kickassia together and holding each other’s hands as we chanted ‘We believe in Santa Christ!’

But like any big company, it had immoral things going on behind the scenes. Previous contributors to the site have revealed that they were let go for arbitrary reasons and that the management was incredibly poor and misogynistic. In March, a Twitter thread and later a compiled document from over a dozen past and present contributors to the site revealed that things were much worse than anybody suspected. The worst allegation is that the higher ups in the site were involved in sexual abuse which went unreported.

I may create written content rather than videos, but this controversy has told me a few things about making content online, and I hope that other creators can take something away from this too:

It’s not the You show starring You

Ok I’ll admit it, I like being praised for my work. It’s just a natural human instinct. But if you become big enough, it’s easy to become elitist and snobby, which definitely seems to have happened to Doug Walker and the other Channel Awesome higher ups. Many of the website’s problems seem to have come from them treating Doug as a star who could do no wrong and neglecting the other contributors because they weren’t as important in their eyes.

Youtubers usually need to use themselves to brand their work, just as authors need to sell themselves to sell their books. But all creators, no matter how popular they get, need to remember that it is the content that is drawing in their audience, not just themselves.

Respond to controversy correctly

To add further fuel to the fire, Channel Awesome responded to the allegations with a non-apology statement, posted on Twitter, by far the best place for public apologies, which actually included the phrase “we’re sorry you felt that way”. This was basically saying ‘it’s your own fault if you were offended by the horrible things we did’.

Channel Awesome aren’t the first media producers to be involved with a controversy, but some others who have did at least acknowledged their mistakes and apologised for them. Some even voluntarily stepped down from the websites they were associated with.

While sincere apologies don’t automatically excuse you from bad behaviour, they are at least the right way to respond to controversy, rather than trying to weasel your way out of them and avoiding blame.

Being a critic doesn’t make you a creator

It’s almost painfully ironic that Doug Walker famously reviewed The Room, which is regarded as one of the worst movies ever due to the incompetence of its director. The making of the film was so awful that it has had books and films made about it (which I highly recommend, btw). Based on the testimonies made by CA contributors, when Walker made his own movies, he did similar things (not providing food and water, ignoring continuity errors, spending hours filming scenes which never made it into the film, etc) and has a similarly over-inflated ego.

I occasionally get paid book review jobs, but that’s more of a side hustle for extra pocket money. Learning what works and what doesn’t work in books can help with my own writing, but I know that being a critic doesn’t automatically make me a great writer, because criticism and writing are two highly different skills.

Don’t settle for a shitty company

I’ve worked for shitty companies before, both as a writer and in my previous career in retail. Thankfully I’ve never been involved with a company which has committed sexual assault, but I did briefly work for one which was involved with attempted murder.

The signs of a shitty company are almost always the same; poor management, lack of communication, overworking staff, no respect for employees, and those who act like paying others is a favour rather than an obligation. I know that financial necessity often leads us to settle for shitty companies, but the golden rule of ‘never work for exposure’ always stands. Your time and talent are worth so much more and moving on from an awful company is the best feeling in the world.

 

The nature of the internet is ever changing and some of the forecasts are scary for those of us who make a living from creating online content. But this controversy shows all online creators, be they writers, Youtubers, streamers, bloggers, podcasters, artists, or whatever else that if we respect each other and our work, we can still keep on creating the content that we and our audiences love.

This is the quality content I go online for.

Update: Right after I published this post (and I do mean right after), I found out that Channel Awesome has posted a more detailed response to their website. But this too doesn’t contain an apology and once again comes across as their way to try and weasel out of the accusations.

My Top Six Childhood Traumas

05 Monday Feb 2018

Posted by in Blog, christmas, fantasy, film, story, villain

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I’ve seen a lot of videos on Youtube lately about childhood traumas – the movies or tv shows which gave people nightmares when they were children. It’s a real eye opener into what people found scary when they are children, compared to when they’re adults. There are a lot of things you’d expect children to fear which they don’t find frightening at all. I was never scared by Goosebumps or Are You Afraid of the Dark. But there are a lot of things which end up frightening children when they’re not supposed to, even when they’re intended to be cute and harmless. These are my top childhood traumas which freaked me out when I was younger, and still do a little bit today:

Muppet Christmas Carol

Muppet Christmas Carol is now amongst my favourite Christmas films, and the season doesn’t feel complete without watching it at least once. But the reason why it is one of the best adaptations of A Christmas Carol is because the filmmakers knew that it was primarily a ghost story, and the addition of Muppets somehow only makes it scarier. The parts which always freaked me out when I was young where when the doorknocker turns into the face of Jacob Marley, the entire scene right before the ghosts first appear, and of course the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, who literally has the face of death.

Jumanji

I’ve only seen this film once when it first came out, but it terrified me so much that I can’t bring myself to watch it again, or even the reboot. I genuinely don’t know why they thought this would be an ideal film for children, just because they cast Robin Williams in it. It was made in the early days of CGI when it was still incredibly uncanny, and having all of them coming straight at the camera only makes it worse.

The burglars from Home Alone

How could the most popular family comedy of the 90’s possibly traumatise me? Because it prays on the primal childhood fear of burglars breaking into your house and trying to hurt you. The burglars were genuinely terrifying until Kevin set all of his death traps, and even a little bit afterwards. The video game was even worse. I always felt a lot of anxiety for the burglars capturing my character and hanging him on a hook. I think that’s part of the reason why I can’t stand playing video games today.

The junk yard from The Brave Little Toaster

Have you ever noticed what an incredible work of art The Brave Little Toaster is? On first glance, it seems like just another animated children’s film about talking objects. Instead, it’s a painfully poignant tale about what becomes of your life when you can no longer meet your purpose.

The junk yard scene is one of the most frightening scenes in any children’s film, when you think about it. As the cars sing upbeat tune which sounds like it could have come from Rocky Horror, they reminisce about their lives as one by one they are picked up by the omnipotent magnet and dropped onto a conveyer belt to be crushed to death. The magnet is a sort-of metaphor for the Grim Reaper – It picks up the cars and other pieces of junk seemingly at random with no mercy to meet their demise. The cars know that their deaths are inevitable, they just don’t know when it is coming.

I think I need to go and watch My Little Pony for a while…

Return to Oz

Because I’m one of those ‘edgy’ kids, I much prefer Return to Oz to the original The Wizard of Oz, but again, it took me several years of therapy to come to fully appreciate it. First, Dorothy’s aunt and uncle send her to an asylum for electric shock therapy treatment. Next, when she’s back in Oz, she’s stalked by these terrifying wheeler things. Then she’s imprisoned by a woman who has a whole collection of interchangeable heads. When Dorothy tries to steal from her, they all start screaming while the headless body comes after her. Even the uncanny stop motion on the mountain thing was nothing after that horror.

Now that I think of it, couldn’t you escape the wheelers just by climbing some stairs?

Chernobog from Fantasia

Say, here’s a good idea; Let’s raise children as innocent little Christians, instil a fear of hell and demons inside of them to keep them away from bad things like gay thoughts, and then let’s put FUCKING THIS into a Disney film:

Seriously, Walt Disney did know that he had to include a little darkness in his films (Have you ever actually watched Pinocchio? It’s fucked up.), but why did he think it would be a good idea to put the literal, actual devil into the same film as prancing hippos, dancing flowers, and pretty centaurs?

Remember kids, the devil is coming for you!

Nowadays, I can appreciate the sequence for its artistry, and actually admire that they managed to get away with something so intense in the 1940s (this was the same decade when you couldn’t even say the word ‘virgin’ on screen).

But as a sheltered Christian child, I was so scared whenever the Night on Bald Mountain segment started that I fled to the other room. It hadn’t occurred to me yet that I could just turn off the VHS. And I didn’t know that if I had kept watching, I would’ve found out that Chernobog is a complete pussy who is scared off by just a bit of light and choral music. But six-year-old me just didn’t know any better.

 

What were your childhood traumas from film and television which scared you when you were younger? Were my fears justified, or was I a complete baby? Tell me in the comments below!

Top Four Book Subplots Which Were Better Than the Main Plot

20 Monday Nov 2017

Posted by in author, Blog, Common Criticism, criticism, dumbass in distress, fantasy, romance, story, villain, writing, writing advice

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Subplots and side characters serve an important narrative role in fiction. They fill out the world and break up the story so that the main cast aren’t overwhelmed with solving every problem. This is why authors should give just as much love and attention to them as they do the main plot and characters. But there are some books in which the subplots and the characters within them are actually better than the main plot. Sometimes you find yourself dragging through the main plot and waiting with anticipation for the subplot to start up again. These are some subplots which I liked far better than the novel’s main plot (again, this is all opinion based, so don’t get your panties in a bunch if I include something you like):

Eragon – Roran’s story

The main plot: A Gary-Stu stumbles upon an adorable baby dragon and a bunch of other abilities and makes a lot of powerful friends. They travel the world of inexplicable geography to rip of Star Wars and every other fantasy story ever to take down the evil emperor, who is only evil because the author says he is. At one point the protagonist spends an entire chapter hanging around some woods and thinking about how ants are neat.

The sub plot: A normal farm boy with no special powers or privileges goes out into a world he barely knows to avenge his fallen father, save the survivors of his village, and rescue his true love, all so that he can return to living a normal life with the ones he loves.

So awesome that they were of course cut from the movie

The Hunger Games – Basically any of the other subplots

The main plot: A girl appears on a reality tv death show, takes down the government, and still has time for the most overblown love triangle ever. All for a poorly thought out social commentary that rich people are bad (who knew?).

The sub plot: Two kindred spirits both suffering from post-traumatic stress have a forbidden romance with one of them being used by the President as a sex slave, yet still help the other deal with their mental issues. When they finally wind up happy together, one of them is unceremoniously killed off-page.

The other sub plot: At age 12, Rue is already caring for her younger siblings until she is chosen for The Hunger Games, or super happy death camp. She survives for a long time thanks to her hiding abilities until her death sparks the first riot amongst the regular population which leads to the takedown of the government.

How the entire series went in my head

His Dark Materials – Mary Malone and the mulefa

The main plot: Two super special awesome kids with overpowered plot devices go on a quest to kill God, despite having no real qualms against him, go to the world of the dead just because they can, and have a tragic ending for no real reason. The message is that religion is a lie, even though God and the afterlife literally exist in this multiverse.

The sub plot: A nun-turned-scientist discovers gateways between worlds and comes to live with a bizarre alternate reality race who help her uncover the nature of the entire universe and how to save it.

The Princess Bride – Inigo Montoya’s revenge

The main plot: In the book version at least, two overblown romance novel stereotypes with no real personalities or likeable attributes go through a bunch of overblown romance novel clichés and almost die for each other BECAUSE TRUE LOVE!!

The sub plot: A man who witnessed his father’s murder as a child dedicates his entire life to avenging him, but instead becomes a washed up drunk assisting the main idiots with their stupid problems. He finally gets his revenge in the most awesome fight scene ever and becomes a legendary pirate, showing us how far a person will really go for the sake of true love.

The real reason we all read the book

Top five books with good premise but bad execution

27 Sunday Aug 2017

Posted by in author, Blog, book review, criticism, fantasy, musings, romance, steampunk, story, top 5 list, writing

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If you could name one thing in common with all your favourite books, it would probably be that they all have an excellent premise. Perhaps it is a new twist on an old genre, a unique location, or a fascinating character. It is the thing which made you choose the book over thousands of others on the shelves.

But like me, you might have frequently found yourself drawn into a book by its excellent premise only to find that the content of the book is severely lacking, or not what you were expecting. These are some of the books I have read which I had high hopes for but which I felt weren’t carried out well (this is all opinion based so don’t get your panties in a bunch if I slag off a book that you like):

Obsidian Mirror by Catherine Fisher

The premise: A teenage boy travels to a remote English villa to find out what happened to his missing father, and uncovers mysterious secrets.

The execution: Mystery, time travel, steampunkish tech, faeries, and some other stuff I just didn’t get all jammed together into one book. This book had a strong opening, but then threw so much stuff at me all at once that I barely had time to take it all in or keep track of what was going on.

The King’s Sister by Anne O’Brien

The premise: A story about Elizabeth of Lancaster, sister of King Henry IV and a little-known figure of history.

The execution: Medieval soap-opera melodrama and problems which were either solved way too quickly or just seemed to solve themselves eventually anyway.

Bearers of the Black Staff by Terry Brooks

The premise: A highly different fantasy which is set not in another world or the distant past, but in the post-apocalyptic far future.

The execution: Just another bog-standard sword-and-sorcery fantasy. There are so many things that could have been done with this premise- Magic duels in the ruins of skyscrapers, contemporary stories becoming folklore, everyday modern objects viewed as sacred artefacts. If you want this same premise done much better, read the Mortal Engines series instead.

The Wolf Princess by Cathryn Constable

The premise: A teenage orphan and her friends get the chance to travel to a remote palace in Russia and uncover hidden family secrets.

The execution: Cliched characters, a protagonist who is barely active in her own story, and huge, completely noticeable plot holes.

Dragon’s Child by M.K. Hume

The premise: An origin story for King Arthur, focusing heavily on the Roman Britain setting.

The execution: Murder, rape, torture, paedophilia, slavery, and just plain uncomfortable reading.

 

What are some books which you thought were going to be great but severely let you down? Tell me in the comments below.

Book Review – Pegasus

27 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by in Blog, book review, culture, fantasy, story, writing

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pegasus

Pegasus by Robin Mckinley tells the story of a human kingdom which for over a thousand years has held an alliance with a race of sentient pegasi in order to keep both races safe from the monsters which ravage the land. Part of the treaty is that members of the human royal family are ceremoniously bound to members of the pegasi royal family. Despite this, the two races can only communicate through vague sign language and still know little about each other’s cultures.

This all changes on the day that Princess Sylvi, the fourth child of the current King, is bound to her pegasus Ebon, the fourth child of the pegasus king. They find that they can communicate with each other telepathically. While the two are happy with their new found friendship and some hope it can form a greater bond between humans and pegasi, others, especially the bitter court magician Fthoom, feel that it is wrong to go against a thousand years of tradition and it will break the alliance. As she grows closer to Ebon and the other pegasi, Sylvi comes to discover many secrets about both of their races that have been hidden for generations and which may well put their alliance in danger.

I began reading this book as I am also writing a boot that includes pegasi, and I was immediately drawn in by the new angle that the author takes to pegasi, making them much more than just horses with wings. Most notably, they have small feather like hands on the ends of their wings which allow them to make things. Sylvi’s Pegasus Ebon wishes to be a sculptor of all things.

It is unfortunate then that the major failing in this book is that it is incredibly slow paced, particularly at the beginning which feels much more like a history lecture and takes about four chapters to get to the first major plot point. It is at least interesting exposition which provides a good setup for the inciting incident and does at least make you want to keep reading, but it still feels like it could’ve been so much shorter and to the point. It made reading the book even more frustrating as I was genuinely enjoying it and becoming invested into the characters, but the bad pacing was so noticeable that I knew it would keep me from giving it a five star rating. I couldn’t even use the excuse that it is a classic book using archaic language as it only came out in 2010.

The rest of the book isn’t much better with sometimes a hundred pages between each plot point, and yet there is also a setup for a monster attack which is never carried through. There is a cliff hanger at the end with a sequel supposedly coming out soon which will hopefully complete this plot thread. But it still feels as if the entire story could’ve been condensed into one volume just by cutting down upon the lengthy parts.

Still, anyone who doesn’t mind sifting through this heavy exposition and enjoys fantasy with a unique perspective will still like this book. Sylvi and Ebon are likeable protagonists and you can’t help but feel drawn in by their strong bond and curiosity over each other’s cultures. I’ll be looking forward to the sequel, even if I might have to sit through a lot of lengthy prose for a second time.

Rating – 4 out of 5.

Book Review – Two Caravans

09 Tuesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Blog, book review, culture, romance, story, writing

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Two Caravans by Marina Lewycka, also published under the much less boring title Strawberry Fields, tells the stories of a group of seasonal agricultural workers, primarily an idealistic young Ukrainian aspiring author named Irina, who all find themselves working at the same strawberry farm in Kent. While her romantic vision of England is far from what she expected, Irina still finds a sense of camaraderie with her fellow strawberry pickers despite their different backgrounds, aspirations, and language barriers, as they attempt to make the best of their situation. Their peace is interrupted one evening when an incident involving the promiscuous farmer and his jealous wife leads the entire group on the run from the law and scattered across South East England working various menial, low paying jobs. Each of them meets a host of characters, some immigrants and some Brits, who are equally down on their luck. Some of them give in to despair that this is what their lives have become. Others hang onto hope that it is merely a bump in the road that will lead them to achieving their dreams.

I read about this book in a magazine and with the current political situation in the UK, thought it would be ideal to read. As entertaining as the book is, it is also a necessarily painful eye opener about the truth of the UK’s so-called immigration crisis and how we are able to get affordable food from our supermarkets. I grew up in Kent, where the book is primarily set, and was only vaguely aware that this type of thing was happening. This is why it particularly spoke to me when one of the foreign workers walks into the quaint English village next to an inhumane chicken farm, where an employee had his thumb cut off only a few hours before, and wonders if the village residents are aware of what is happening right on their doorsteps. If the events in this book are even remotely close to the truth (the back of the book does cite some research), they are outright depressing, especially since the fate of some characters is left ambiguous and it is easy to assume the worst.

The book is able to generate this sympathy thanks to its cast of characters with well-rounded positive and negative traits. It doesn’t always make them completely likeable, but it does at least make them realistic. Even Irina and Andriy’s awkward romance, which is almost a parody of the epic romance tropes both of them are hoping for, is surprisingly endearing because it is presented in the way most young romances play out. The bonds they form to get through their difficult times and their never ending hope for a better future are endearing and even prompted me to re-evaluate my own life a little. But at the same time they are disheartening when you realise that there are people in these exact situations in real life who probably never escape the cycle.

And yet these revelations are broken up with moments of dark humour which reach almost Monty Python levels of ridiculousness. My favourite is when Tomasz, a Polish worker with limited English, is talking to his fellow chicken farmer about Big Brother, and both of them repeatedly confuse the Big Brother house with the chicken house they are standing in.

The only negative point I can give this book is the jarring switches between character viewpoints, and even between first and third person, including sudden and pointless jumps into the point of view of a dog.

The social commentary might be a little too heavy for the recreational reader but anyone interested in good political satire will enjoy this as an entertaining, darkly humorous, and informative read.

My rating – 9/10.

Manga Review – Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Arc

28 Tuesday Jun 2016

Posted by in anime, Blog, clamp, fantasy, manga review, musings, romance, series review, shojo, squee, story

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It’s a good time to get nostalgic about anime and manga at the moment. Right after Fruits Basket got a sequel series, my other favourite manga series Cardcaptor Sakura is also getting a sequel, to coincide with the manga’s 20th anniversary, and the first chapter has just come out in Japan.

Cardcaptor Sakura is one of Clamp’s most popular series and along with Sailor Moon, it was one of the defining series of the magical girl genre until Madoka came along and turned it super angsty.

I’ve been re-watching the anime lately and it not only still holds up (the only thing that has become outdated is the bulky cell phones), its portrayal of LGBT+ characters was amazingly progressive for a late 90’s show, something that western animation is still struggling to get to grips with. The general rule of Cardcaptor Sakura, and with Clamp manga in general, is that love has no boundaries such as gender, age, or whether a person is technically human. While this does provide a few questionable student/teacher romances, it’s rare to see a series where sexuality and gender identity are treated in such a way. Touya and Yukito were probably the first yaoi couple I knowingly shipped like crazy (I shipped other guys as ‘friends’ thanks to section 28) and it took me this long to realise that Yukito is technically non-binary. If you throw in his alternate form Yue, does that technically make it a polyamorous relationship?

Always date a person who's hair is longer than their body.

Always date a person whose hair is longer than their body.

The plot of the original series was about a precariously cute little girl named Sakura who discovers a book of magical cards called Clow Cards in her father’s library and accidentally sets them all loose. She has to become the Cardcaptor and use her growing magical powers to get them back and stop them causing mischief throughout the town, all while trying to get the cute boy she has a crush on to notice her.

The Clear Card arc picks up almost exactly where the manga left off; on Sakura’s first day of middle school when she and her long distance boyfriend Syaoran are finally reunited and can finally be together forever. But on the same night, Sakura gets another of her prophetic dreams about a mysterious figure in strange clothes, indicating that a new supernatural thereat is on its way.

Even if Sakura has only aged up a few years in the story’s timeline, there is still a strong feeling of ‘my daughter is all grown up’ for the reader. It’s refreshing to see all of the characters again in their original forms, and not with all the Tsubasa alternate dimension self weirdness (sorry Clamp fangirls, but I really didn’t like Tsubasa). Tomoyo, Sakura’s loyal best friend, is hilarious as ever when she films Sakura and Syaoran’s touching reunion and for some reason I find it funny that Kero, a magical creature who has lived for hundreds of years, has an e-mail address.

Perhaps it is because the characters are getting older but something still feels slightly off with this first chapter. Sakura and Syaoran aren’t quite as lovey dovey as you’d expect of a couple who have been separated for years. They even re-exchange their homemade teddy bears, which in the original manga were a symbol of their love for each other. I really worry that is some kind of horribly foreshadowing. There is also a notable absence of Yukito, despite being a major character and presumably an official couple with Touya by now. Perhaps there just wasn’t enough time in the first chapter to introduce him along with everyone else.

Even so, all of these new questions are intriguing. The series has been able to develop itself while still keeping with the spirit of the original. I’m looking forward to the next installments of the story arc and seeing what is going to happen to Sakura and her friends from here.